so THIS happened.

from time to time i rediscover spacehey and remember that i have an account on here, this stupid account is becoming my diary atp and i love how nobody gives a shit!!! but hey at least im letting it all out instead of bottling it up and being depressed anymore !!! anyways for some reason ive been stuck in this mindset that im always going to be the second choice or the second best even tho now my bff who ive been calling my bff all my life is finally paying more attention to me and finally calling me her bff since we've been friends ever since kindergarten and i feel like i should feel more happy about it but instead i just feel like its all a lie??? like i genuinely cant understand the fact that there is someone out there that needs me and thinks i am their number one friend since ive always grown up to be the second choice. always felt like everything i say doesnt matter and will not matter. anyways thats the rant for the month or year idk man.