rant abt how men view/treat alt girls/ppl in relationships

In my experience in situationships/dating guys, they seem to want to date alt girls as a status symbol, because they see alt girls as unique and therefore they believe their gfs uniqueness transfers onto themselves so others also see them as being special, attracting a lot of attention. Its like signalling to other ppl, like hey i bagged ts alt girl as a basic mf, you must wonder what I got going on that is so unique and valuable that this girl would date me 😼. it is a very transactional type of relationship. Honestly I am wary of ppl who look for alt girls while not being alt at all themselves, because they are sometimes not looking for someone to relate to and connect with, but rather want their relationship to be a trophy or even to like convert the person out of alt to give themselves a sense of power over this persons autonomy. 

Also, I feel like a lot of times (not even just towards alt girls) ppl like to generalize/put their gfs in a category instead of understanding the individual. In my experience, I felt I was always categorized as like a 'typical' emo girl except its based on their exposure to what being emo means (which is usually a very watered down visual that is lowk almost always sexualized in some way) and I don't really consider myself emo even if I SOMETIMES dress similarly or whatever. I like wearing black and they assume im emo like son 😭😭😭. Ppl always assume im really into true crime or some shit and they think im larping mental illnesses even though i never ever claim to be diagnosed with anything. I was into true crime in like elementary school son, RN Im into horror film which I think is a very different category from true crime, because I very much am into the artistic and intentional aspects of the narrative (not that true crime podcasts or shows arent made with intention, but horror movies just have more creative flexibility). Also I feel like the whole calling ppl new gens and larpers thing is a very stupid way to gatekeep interests from newcomers and also another way of generalising (mainly women) into a degrading category thats like, oh ur a girl into this thing, so you must like it performatively. name 5 songs to prove yourself (as if they are entitled to proof that someone is interested in something). In my experience I like to explore a lot of fandoms, but many times I do so shallowly because I would lose interest fast. That doesnt mean I shouldn't talk about being interested in it, even if it were for a brief moment, because I am looking for reasons to continue to be interested in this thing by talking to other people about it. 

Also in my experience, ppl will recommend things, show me things, or gift me things that are like, completely NOT me, and although I appreciate the attempt, its really annoying to be misunderstood like this and it also feels like they did not put effort into understanding ME, but rather based their understanding of me on a romanticized view of some category of girls. I mean I feel kind of shitty for feeling this way but, sometimes I am pretty pissed if I receive something that im wondering like how TF did you think I would like this, and its lowk worse than not getting the thing because 1.it shows you did not put effort in understanding me at all 2. I am wondering wtf about me is giving off the vibe that I would like this thing. I do have a sneaking suspicion that ppl do this because they want to convert me into their idealized vision of alt, but I am not about to change myself to become your digestable version of alt or whatever. 

I mean I personally don't even view myself as being part of a specific aesthetic/group (even though my views do align with most like alt views) because I feel like I like very contrasting things, for example, I like to decorate my room more cutesy, I like to dress mostly like darkly (idk if that makes sense), and my music taste is literally so many different genres. Also this is more specific but I hate it when like theyre like "your friend would love this" and im like I LOVE THIS AS WELL, WHY DO YOU KNOW MORE ABT MY FRIEND THAN ME WHEN WE ARE CLOSERRR T-T

anyways, I think that if you are not alt and are trying to get close w an alt girl, it would probably be better to ask her what she is interested in, because thats probably what you default to if you were trying to understand literally any other person. And most importantly to actually LISTEN, because then you can remember things she likes, and it is a sign of effort. Then again, a lot of ppl like being generalized, because then they get associated w the positive things related to that group. But I think thats a conclusion you come to AFTER you get to know that person.