"i told you so", but at what cost?

i feel like a ghost getting ignored so often and but rarely get upset by it. today though i woke up to more news about protests against my home countrys governments deal with big foreign investors selling protected land. while i have many thoughts regarding the issue i am also overcome by feelings of mainly frustration. texted my mom for a bit yesterday and obviously the protests came up, mainly since they are now finally gaining international attention/coverage too. she said something about how we need change and mentioned a few talking points ive gotten into arguments with her about in the past. was a bit shocked bc back then it led to her expressing how she was disappointed i had those types of views and whenever wed have those back and forth situations id always leave the conversation feeling unheard and as if i was stupid to have the stance id fight so hard for. and now suddenly shes saying she agrees with my same thoughts which she used to despise. its just confusing. ironically, her agreeing with me made me feel the same negative feelings i felt when she wasnt agreeing with me - just unheard and cast aside as if im too dumb to come up with something good on my own. 

i dont know if its jealousy tbh. doubt thats the right word but cant think of a better one rn but i do feel resentment bc of the fact that she would refuse to understand my thoughts on politics as her daughter, but suddenly jumped ship when noticing how not only the rest of the population, but a lot of people from other countries too are supporting the cause she used to give me shit for supporting. just doesnt feel good yknow i tried so hard to be patient and put up with her looking down on me just bc i wanted her to, not necessarily agree with me, but to at least hear me out. maybe even understand where i was coming from. just feels like my efforts were for nothing. it does make me wonder if things would have been different if i had been her eldest son instead of her eldest daughter. 

the interaction with her just made me spiral into thinking about me and my relationships with others in general. i wish i was charismatic enough or socially competent enough to get people to stop pushing me around or taking me for granted and instead take me seriously once in a while. or to be given the benefit of the doubt at the very least. not saying its impossible for me to work on, this is just me ranting about how its hard sometimes and it doenst always work out no matter how much or little i try.

she didnt really apologize when i brought it up, which was expected. but she did try to be funny and said "hehe oops" and then immediately resulted to "i dont remember saying that stuff to you", which was also expected. what was unexpected though was that she admitted to not being the most informed and even said i do know more than her regarding politics and history, so maybe theres a chance things are getting better instead of them remaining unchanged forever.