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I've struggled with depression for a long, long time. It used to drown me. Now I'm better at hiding my feelings and distracting myself... or at least I was. The coping mechanisms I used ended up in addiction (not any substances - no dru9s or drinks). Lately I've had food issues - not eating or eating too much. My stomach feels like it's eating at itself. On Thursday I cut myself for the first time in 2 years. It felt good. I hate that it felt good. I felt like I got over a chapter in my life where I faked my optimism. Although it doesn't feel good to be "energetic" AND a negative person. I smile too much despite hating or judging everything around me. At least I have things I love. Yet loving what I love is difficult because of the expectations my parents put on me. I hate religion for that exact reason. I CANNOT be religious. I just want to express myself without restrictions.
The concept of being depressed
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🫧 Go Beyond 🫧 ♂️
the religion part is so true. my parents wouldn't let me keep a deer tibia bone (no disease and it was dry and clean) because my mom always talks about "black magic" and how people curse stuff outside on the ground (THEY WANTED ME TO GIVE AWAY A $50 DOLLAR BILL THAT I FOUND ON THE GROUND OUTSIDE WITH THE OWNER MOST LIKELY LONG GONE, it was also raining so it would have gone into a sewer drain after it stops raining) Religious restrictions are so stupid and annoying to deal with.
THISSSS!!! I want to be a glamour witch, but I can't because of my parents. I NEED FREEDOM! If I don't get my freedom soon, I will literally combust.
by aerichandesu; ; Report