thoughts before bed

My favourite kind of movie is the one that forces you to really ponder. Not because it was presumptuous and hard to understand, but because you're so deeply enamoured that you're itching to unlock every nuance the director had in mind; to see through their eyes and fall in love with their intention. Sometimes, I like to ponder about the way a film looks. Colour and contrast; the harshness of lighting over bone. There is something so romantic and intimate about well-done films, because the director has put their heart and soul into its beauty for you to unpeel and savour. I love beautiful films. 

I remember watching I Believe In Unicorns, perhaps not a blockbuster or overwhelmingly famous, but there was something so beguiling and dramatic in its soft, conscious palette, slowly to be tainted by Sterling. I felt that same sort of attraction to All About Lily Chou-Chou, and Barry Lyndon, and The Virgin Suicides, and tens of other jewels that I still dream about. I hope to be a director someday, somehow, and profess some kind of eye-candy love for the world and for film.

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Tomorrow, I might have the same breakfast as today. Two peaches, sliced thinly, and a mug of green tea. When I make green tea, I take a small jar of clover honey (that's all we have, but any honey is lovely) and spread it evenly over the walls of the mug. The teabag sits at the bottom, naturally, but when the boiling water is poured, the honey melts into it all at once and gives it a nice sweetness. 

I'll put my hair in a fishtail braid. I like doing fishtails. My shoulders ache when I'm done, from holding them up so stiffly for so long, but to look in a mirror and run a hand over the plait is enough of a reward. It'll be rainy this weekend, which is a little unfortunate. I was hoping to wear tiny shorts and shop around the city and pick up a nice tan and some iced matcha, but it seems that won't be happening. (more to look forwards to later on i guess!!)

Maybe I'll hit up an indoor mall; see if any stores have sales worth my money. I'm getting a little sick of 15% off max. It's stupidly rare that sales ever lurch above a measly 20. Fucking capitalism. I can't say that dissuades me from buying anything, though, because I can't go without something new, because I have issues. Lace bra, camisole, heels. I've acquainted myself with almost every store in every mall within a 30-kilometre radius.

my eyes are feeling heavy, and i can't remember what else was on my mind only thirty seconds ago ... will blog again very soon!!! 🪷