Is it gay to kiss my homies good night?

I ask "Is it gay to kiss my homies good night?" because society has failed to provide clear documentation on the issue. Every night, I stand before my homies with a clipboard, a calculator, and a copy of the Constitution, desperately trying to determine whether a kiss on the lips falls under friendship, brotherhood, or federal crime. The research is inconclusive. Some say it's gay. Others say it's only gay if you make eye contact for more than three seconds. One expert claimed that saying "no homo" creates a temporary immunity shield. Until the scientific community reaches a consensus, I will continue asking the question in pursuit of truth, justice, and the right to tuck my homies into bed without legal or philosophical complications.