the woes of crafting

oh how i despise.............. hating my project when i'm halfway done. seeing every flaw in it is what makes me discard everything when i'm almost done. i have so many unfinished projects because by spending so much time with it, i start finding details i don't like and it becomes too much. 

i think good crafters aren't those who master the thing but those who actually complete stuff. i was reading this book made by an indigenous teacher who edited lots of books and magazines, and is regarded as a very important figure in mexican literature, yet only wrote three small books himself. the prologue says that he is one of the best not because of the amount of works, but because of the depth and care put into each of them. i try to live by that.

sometimes i want to post everyday or whatever or do a lot of interesting stuff but working on something long makes me come to terms with the fact that the flaws on what i create mirror what i see as a flaw on myself. my project is fine, i almost always find a way out of the imperfections, i just have to ignore The Voices and get through it. 

not everything is a finished project i see on pinterest. stuff has to suck before becoming something that... doesn't suck. that's literally what creating is about.

i want to show something a bit personal.

when i was 13-15 i used to make these... god i dont know the name. those little things that have saints and flowers and are like a little house. i used to make them with things i found laying around, sardine and tuna cans and all sorts of trash. i was sooooo obsessed with kitsch and tried selling them to finance my little upcycling hobby (thrifting stuff and breaking it apart isn't free!!)

i tried selling them around church ladies. they loved it... but some of them thought i was giving them around for free (since they were made from trash) and looked stunned when i asked for the money. 

i think the moment i stopped making them was when i was asked to make a nativity scene from trash. i spent a whole week sculpting little figurines to be placed in the church stairs. three days before christmas they were gone, someone thought it was trash and tossed it, nothing was recovered. i still try to make things from trash but i don't make an attempt at selling or even showing them, only for gifts to my closest friends. 

i don't even know where to go from this. the voices that tell me my stuff sucks didn't come from nowhere, they are what's left of bad experiences. i want to have better experiences to overthrow the harsh ones on the scale.

okAy have a nice day mwah