Dark Romance: The Dismissal of Motive

CONTENT WARNING: the following blog post will cover the topics of non-consensual or dubious consent, dangerous power dynamics, abuse, suggestive themes, kink, and bdsm.

Earlier today I was researching a bit about the exploration of fear through kink and roleplay, the different ways you can do it, and reasons why one may find interest in fear play. It got me thinking about the topic of dark romance again, how so much of it follows that appeal of fear and someone dangerous to you or in general. I do understand the appeal of fear in a twisted romance, and yet these themes always fell so flat to me, like there was always something missing in these stories. Then it hit me, one of the biggest reasons why dark romance seems to fail so often, is that they completely brush off motive.

And I'm not talking about straight forward motives, like "they're selfish," "they just don't care enough not to," "they want to show dominance," "they're lonely," "they want manipulate you," etc. That's not really a full motive, that's just one aspect of it. What lead to this character doing this, why do they think this way, why do they want this, why did they choose to achieve their goals through these actions, if you don't consider that your character is shit. If your character is as simple as it seems, they are boring, irredeemable, and you've successfully simplified this character into only being their actions instead of feeling like a person.
Maybe this is a common safe guard for dark romance writers, dehumanizing the abuser narratively gives you a way to create distance between the fiction and the reality of the depicted actions, but I find this incredibly lazy. This kind of fiction only exists to show taboo for taboos sake, there's no substance, no point, no nuance, no intrigue, you've left your audience with nothing. The only readers you have left are the perverts with no taste, congrats.

This is the worst kind of dark romance, and unfortunately one of if not the most common. It focuses solely on the reader getting off, to the point it forgets to have a fucking story. It's quite literally just written porn and it SUCKS ASS. It's bad writing whether there's an audience for it or not, in the same way most porn acting is bad acting despite having an audience. Because your audience isn't HERE for the story or the acting, they're here to get off, and when that's all they want they'll read basically anything. Good stories are immersive, they don't have to be super realistic, but they have to be believable in context... A lot of dark romance SUCKS at this, even though it's literally the number one priority in story telling.

Here are a few dark romance troupes I see a lot, and how I'd fix them:

The obsessed stalker - Constantly crosses boundaries, will not take no for an answer. Probably a rapist, but its okay because the protagonist liked it deep down. Luckily the protagonist is attracted to them, luckily the protagonist is similar to the stalkers fantasy, let's ignore how it's entirely luck based that they can even have a relationship. Will completely dehumanize you and turn you into an object or concept, but somehow this is good because their disconnect to reality makes you feel special. You will never get a backstory on why they're a stalker. They'll only ever be obsessed with you even though that's not how obsession works. Convinced they love you, but shows over and over again that they don't, while the narrative tries to use obsession as proof of love even though obsession conflicts with love if anything.
What I'd add/change - You can't really include a stalker-esc romance without including some dubious consent, but I think there's a way to balance it. People who are prone to obsession tend to have insecure attachment styles, and they usually rely on their partner to a degree that is entirely unhealthy. The obsessed individual will likely feel extreme dread and discomfort whenever their partner is absent. This gives insight on why they do the things they do, every action is an attempt to feel close to their partner when that restless emptiness sets in. Chances are they will do thing behind their partners back, hide incriminating things, and struggle to let go of the target of their obsession even if they feel guilt. If the love interest actually feels love AT ALL, they will feel intense remorse and guilt when they cross the line. It's related to a lack of control, an intense urge to ease an obsession that feels like is going to consume them (if it hasn't already.) They could go back and forth from indulging, to trying to undo the damage (like taking a bunch of photos without consent, then getting hit with regret and destroying the photos.) The relationship should focus on the love interest trying to beat their stalker tendencies and gain self-control. You could also go the super safe route where, the character has the stalker-esc urges, feels guilty despite not acting on it, it builds into them admitting their urges, then the partner reveals they don't mind/thinks it's attractive, and they have a consensual kink relationship!!!

The violent and cruel type - literally gets pleasure from your pain, probably won't care if you live through it besides the fact it means they have to find a new plaything. The more you hate them, and the more afraid you are, the more they want to torture you. The entire dynamic is based off intimidation, romance doesn't exist here even if the violence is sexual violence (this should be obvious.) Might send mixed signals to confuse you in hopes for an entertaining reaction to betrayal. The relationship is usually just stockholm syndrome. Genuinely the scum of the earth, will do whatever as long as they get pleasure from it. Type of person to traffic people for money with no remorse. Only sees themself as human while everyone else is either an obstacle or an ornament. Genuinely how is this a romance, there's not even the SLIGHTEST indication, what's going on.
What I'd add/change - okay before I start on this one, I basically have three different answers to this. There are loads of different directions you could take this, depending on what part of this troupe is the most appealing to you.
1. This direction preserves the most of the original troupe I think, while making it something more understandable while still being intentionally cruel. Making a violent love interest motivated by obsessive hatred is a great way to explain their actions, especially if the protagonist is motivated by the same thing and provokes them on purpose. Maybe they used to be friends or lovers, but there was some kind of extreme fight or betrayal that caused them to hate each other. More than likely this obsessive hatred feeds off the fact they still love each other deep down. They use hatred to cover up their true emotions, because they can't accept the person they love hurt them, or that they still love them even after what they did.
2. You could go the route where they genuinely don't understand a lot of emotions and keep fucking up greatly, but they want to be better despite their lack of emotion and emotional empathy. In general I don't think you can have a redeemable character who outright gets joy from others pain unless they genuinely don't understand how/why it hurts and can't apply it to themselves. A sort of ASPD-coded character, one that wants to build cognitive empathy and recognize right and wrong, but is struggling to do so. Try not to fall into the savior troupe though, nobody can fix them, they have to choose it on their own regardless of any potential lovers. Also try not to demonize ASPD in the process either, you can show their struggles and nuances, but don't only focus on what makes them a bad partner.
3. You could also have a character who enjoys causing pain to those who want it, classic sadist/masochist dynamic. Maybe you could explore a somewhat unethical sadist to get that dark aspect back, maybe they have a tendency to take it too far, but you gotta be SUPER careful with this because we don't wanna portray sadomasochism as some evil, horrible thing (there's already way too much of that in media.) You could explore a character who shows signs of their sadism without having a healthy way to express it, and feels like a monster. Maybe they have no idea what kink is, they have no clue there's a place for people with desires like theirs, and they desperately want the dynamic that s&m could provide. Maybe they express that sometimes, by saying cruel things, or making cruel jokes, but doesn't mean to hurt anyone by it. Maybe you could portray a character who has gone through previous relationships, doing things that made them happy, but to others crossed the line, only for them to feel intense remorse upon seeing their old partners genuinely upset.

The controlling and powerful higher up - Often portrayed as the protagonists boss, or a powerful figure that has connections everywhere. "You can't escape me.. I will always find you." The most possessive mf you've ever seen. Usually portrayed in a way where they think money and power will solve everything and is a control freak. Extremely dangerous and/or intimidating, except towards protagonist for some reason. Usually the relationship is extremely shallow and based off looks entirely, or at least that's how it starts, but don't think they will take it slow they'll probably have sex immediately. Half the time there's this weird dynamic of receiving protection or money through sexual favors, I should not have to explain why that's a problematic power dynamic.

What I'd add/change - the easiest way to fix this dynamic is to straight up: make it so the love interest is not immediately trying to bang their new hot employee or prisoner. They could meet outside of work and have no idea they're actually employee and boss until way later/they've gotten to know the person before kidnapping them for shady business reasons, and didn't know it would be them. At the very least you should have them meet in a somewhat natural way, not immediately setting up *an arrangement* where they sleep together. Maybe have the love interest hold off on the flirting for a minute too? Like this is business, they know this is business, they are not trying to get with people involved in their business. But they're hitting it off... oh no they're catching feelings... OH SHIT ITS MUTUAL. You could have a conflict of interests with them wanting to stay professional and detached, but also having very genuine feelings towards this person that they'd rather not be having. NOW you can delve into a side of them which starts really getting into that dark territory. They start to use their power selfishly, without being able to admit to themselves that's what they're doing. They make up reasons why they have to be together, gives the protagonist special treatment, and unintentionally puts the pressure for the protagonist to be with them. Because they already have established chemistry BEFORE this happening, it would help avoid the reading of stockholm syndrome or "well.. if i dont date them they'll fire me."

Those are just a few examples, there are loads of other ways to do these troupes in a way that's more nuanced and dynamic I'm sure. I hope you can tell what I was trying to show here, I wanted to explore how these troupes would be if motivated by love, instead of purely self interest or pleasure. I'm really tired so I might've not worded this the way I wanted (might come back and edit it some more tomorrow,) but I'm tired of working on this so HERE YA GO INTERNET!!!