I wish I could interact with other people of my nationality/ethnicity.

I'm going to be so honest, I have no idea how to categories this. I'm not going to try to make this pretty and sophisticated. I'm just sad man.

I feel so envious on how the other people in my school can make friends with the other people from their countries so easily. I try to not feel that way but I do, every time I see the other Persians in my school I want to talk to them so bad, but either I can't bc I don't know how to talk to them. I don't know how, I came here at 9, I can talk in Farsi, but I'm beginning to forget so many easy words I can barely speak properly. I can read at a 3rd grade lvl, and I can't write. I have no clue what slangs to use, I'm just so jealous on how easily they can all talk to each other. I feel alone. I'm having a breakdown. I try not to show it, but I just want an actual connection with a person from MY country. 

I used to have connections in elementary when I was here, I was friends with this boy named A, who was a year younger than me but we were in the same class bc I needed to re-do a grade(I'm in my normal grade now, though.)

He was fun to talk to, we had come here during the same year and I actually felt really happy because I thought there would be no way I would find another Iranian in my school. 

Now I have no one. The people in my school came here a year or two ago, I can't even talk to them without feeling left out because... what am I supposed to say? 

I wish I wasn't this much of a fuck up to not be able to talk properly with people from MY country.

I have this friend, M (she's Bengali), and sometimes she calls me 'white' bc I have pale skin and bc I can't write in Farsi. But, really it just hurts, bc it reminds me of the fact I am so disconnected from my community. I know she's joking, sometimes I laugh with her. It still hurts.