Chronically online

Lately, I find myself staring at the wall through the subway window, thinking about how mediocre we’ve become. I look around, and everyone is on their cell phones. In the background, a sign warns that playing audio without headphones is prohibited because it can interfere with the signal, but no one cares. Everyone is making their “important” calls or spending 15 minutes scrolling through TikTok. I get off the subway; many people are walking while texting.

Classes end, I head home. Could you stop scrolling? You’re overwhelming me. Now I’m a “hippie.” I think I’m an intellectual for spending time with books, or so they say. That I “try to believe I’m unique, intellectual, moralistic.”

“You replied 10 hours later. You’re a bad friend.” I look at my phone, open TikTok—when did we turn TikTok into a messaging app? I check my notifications. I’ve been sent over 20 videos, and buried among all the notifications is a single message. Sorry, next time send me a text. I turned off TikTok notifications, but she doesn’t, and the cycle repeats.

“You haven't responded to my Reels.”
Sorry, I don't watch Reels. I only use Instagram when I post a photo. “Why don't you like my Stories?”

I feel overwhelmed. People are afraid of phone calls. I used to be, too. I call to ask where he is, if he’ll be late, but he doesn’t answer. “I’ll see the missed call notification and know you’ve arrived.” And how will I know you’ve seen my call? Ten minutes pass; I send him a text, he doesn’t reply. I lean against a wall or a tree and wait. I watch people walk by, and they stare back at me. Eventually, he shows up. I ask why he didn’t reply to the text, and he tells me he deleted it, that he thought it was spam; nobody sends texts anymore. Sometimes the answer changes: “I messaged you on Instagram.” I sigh. For the tenth time, I explain that I don’t check Instagram, that I don’t want my phone ringing every time someone sends me a Reel.

I’m back to being the “hippie,” the weirdo. Can we just talk? I don’t want to see Reels. Your recommendation algorithm is overwhelming me. Now I’m not just weird and a hippie, I’m also rude.