Its been a while....

Its been a while hasn't it? I haven't really used Spacehey much not that anyone cares lol.

Well anyways I just wanted to talk about some kife dtuff i guess. You probably already know this if you know me personally but my life is kind of shit maybe even really shit...The internet is my only real refuge from it maybe thats a bit unhealthy but thats how i deal with it and theres no other real way to so whatever. It kind of sucks that outside of the internet i cant make any friends all of the people i know (Which is different than being friends with them) are almost all conservative assholes whod hate me if i didnt put up a persona with them its so much easier to make friends in the internet you can find like your own little community and shit relating to the things you like while in real life you just have to hope to find someone that has similar interests to you. It feels so alone to not have any friends in real life to not know if maybe one of my friends could just dissapear and i could never hear about them it again it sucks to not know when ill finally be a real girl to not know if ill achieve my dreams or just be a loser forever life is so scary because you dont know whats gonna happen in it you just have to take shit as it comes and i dont like that at all. Will things get better one day? Who the fuck knows as i said before no one knows whats gonna happen to them in life maybe i could be delusional and believe that good things will happen to me soon even though time and time again its been proven that as soon as things are seemingly starting to get better something will come to make it even worse than it was before its like some sort of sick game. 

So now what? What do i do as someone who hasnt worked on any of his dreams and someone who has barely planned anything for the future? I guess ill jusy have to keep going or just kill myself i dont know the latter would probably be better for everyone i know not me but i care more about others than i care about myself after all : )

Remember that i love you and also remember too...

Stay Maritastic!!!!