5.23.26 - life is getting slightly less shitty!!!

5.23.26

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★SKIPPING SCHOOL #DELINQUENT : I really hate Anatomy. (´;︵;`) I don't want to be stuck dissecting a cat anymore. I literally have no more will to live in that class. I'm bored because my group is way ahead. It smells awful. I don't want to deal with a stinky moist skinned dead cat anymore, call me crazy. SOOOO maybe I've been skipping a couple classes. :,,,,,)

The first time I skipped I went with Guppy down to this really cute little town area. We got some pretty nice + authentic mexican food and pastries, then checked out the local thrift store. While we were in there one of the owners came out to ask me how tall I was lmaoooo. 

I should like make this clear......... I've already mentioned my friendship with Guppy is... a whole situation but luckily we steered away from topics about gossip. Its okay being around her when I don't have to think about gossip. And whenever I can feel her going that direction I've gotten pretty good at steering it back another direction. Idk. complicated. ಠ_ಠ

The second skip with with Guppy, Guppy 2, and ☆Furry. Originally it was going to be just me and ☆Furry, since I know she is on some rough terms with Guppy. I tried a little to steer away from her but we ended up going to a bakery together. It was pretty good ^^ but the conversation was a little flat, mostly because those two have some unresolved things.

★ SHORT BEACH SIDE QUEST: I had to film a video skit for English, which includes Guppy in my group. I was driving her home when I stopped to get gas and me and her got in this good ass conversation about our middle school. I've mentioned it a billion times that drama talk with her is stressful, but our conversation was insightful. (´；ω；｀) Mostly we talked about the big switch up of freshman year, how almost all of our friends completely ditched their personalities in order to chase popularity. Its like the one topic we can always get into deep meaningful conversation about while also avoiding petty gossip so we took an extra long drive along the beach highway. 

I really hate the beach. I hate sand. I hated having to take a second shower at home to wash it all off. T.T But we stopped by for max 10 minutes just to feel the water and take pics, which is nice.

★ SOMEWHAT OF AN UPDATE: I've decided my position on Guppy and its that I have too many finals and classes with her to cut things off (a whole AP lit video and an AP gov debate). I want to support my friend ☆Furry bc she is right for every grievance against Guppy. She is careless and drama obsessed. But I also do not want to sabotage my grade, making class 10x harder than it needs to be, and possibly more within the last week of school. (๑•﹏•) its especially low risk with Guppy because she is moving to the Phillipines directly after graduating, so what's the point in causing a pile up of drama when its going to be resolved in less than a week/2? 

Most of the conflict resides in me kind of betraying my friends. I didn't really think about it too hard until it was brought up to me by ☆Furry in ceramics. Another truth is that I am a little worried about cutting Guppy off. Because as I said, she has so many connections, specifically with people who have hurt me in the past. •́ ‿ ,•̀

And in the past, I have sometimes said too much to her, and knowing that she can spill anything she wants at all times worries me. I really put myself in this position but it really took some situations to realize myself that she cannot keep her mouth shut. ( ≧Д≦) I know for a fact I have talked to her about some people who haven't dropped grievances against me. And its hard to explain to my friends that that is a major reason I fear cutting her off. Ive tried to tell myself that I've reached a state of trust with her, especially now that some people are cutting Guppy off, but I still don't feel entirely secure. Its complicated!!!!!!!!!!!!!

★ PLANS NEXT WEEK!: I have to pick up my yearbook on Tuesday!! Same day, I'm also having my elementary school reunion. ヾ(･ω･*)ﾉ I have no idea what that will look like. Im feeling very mixed, on one hand I obviously feel nostalgia. I remember being in kindergarten seeing all the seniors thinking they looked like full ass adults. On the other, there are some people who I have definitely cut ties with who may be there. I have barely a clue about whose going, besides some of my friends. And then after all that I have a haircut appointment. Its going to be busy :,)

And on Friday I'm trying to get a group to go see the backrooms movie. the last time I even saw a movie in theaters was the fucking minion movie where everyone dressed up in suits and stuff ITS BEEN A HOT MINUTE!!!!!!

★ SLEEPOVER W/ COUSINS: I forgot to mention, I had a big ass sleepover with ☆Mayo, ☆Abberz, ☆Zeth, and ☆Bezos. Mostly we played Tomodachi life which came out and is super fun and all ive been doing for the past month!!! And we also watched predator catching videos specifically the goat JiDion. Before all that, we took a trip to the store so they could pick up some buzz balls, then hit the In-n-out, while screaming/singing in the car. very fun!! ...not very fun to wake up and vomit. I got to skip work that weekend.

★ SUPER COOL PROPOSAL!!!: My cousin ☆Gary proposed to his girlfriend, now fiancee, ☆Nevada!!! We held a surprise party. While they were celebrating, me, ☆Mayo, ☆Zeth, and ☆Bezos tried to guess which color was whic sound. Cuz like, you know those weird "white noise videos?" apparently there is a whole RANGE of colors. that was what we did for like 3 hours btw just listening to humming noises.

- KB☆