Mental stuff

hey! me again. and uh..idk I guess I just wanted to talk about mental health. most of all suicide. it takes many from us but I wanna speak on it and the will to live, to yearn, and ultimately to die. what gave you the will to live? and to die. because honestly, I'm not sure what i'm doing here. all I know is that i'm gonna make the most of it. but why haven't others? or why haven't you? I hear a lot of people call suicide, selfish. and I just don't believe that. coming from someone who was on the edge (literally) of removing my self, or staying. I think, when people think about or God forbid do commit, they are in the mindset that it's not only freeing them, but everyone else. they see themselves as a burden. like no one cares if they live or die. that they just make everything worse and fuck things up. so they feel that the o ly way anyone can truly have peace is if they are to leave. or any other things like they don't REALLY want to die they just want the pain to stop. and weird enough, I've been on both sides of the gate. feeling like life would be better without you but wanting to be apart of it at the same time?  and I don't even know how I'd describe it. it's like a black hole in your chest. sucking everything in. but it's not like, hollow, yk? it feels endless like you'll be stuck in a loop for the rest of your life. that you'll always feel like this and you'll never amount to anything, ever. your just a black pit. and honestly digging the hole out of that mindset, is the easiest part. now you just have to decide whether you'll climb out of that hole. and fortunately for me, I had the strength  to climb out. but sadly I can't say the same for others. and I get it. I do. Sometimes I still feel like that. but now i've found peace. Im happy again. things matter again. and even when I feel like the weight of that will CRUSH me and the world is ending, the sun goes down, and comes back up. again, and again, and again. and that's what I focus on. if you ever feel like that please reach out, to anyone, ME literally anyone. just know that the sun will come up tomorrow but it wo nt mean anything to a whole lot of people if you aren't there to see it. bye bye now!