A Harsh Shoulder.

Can you stop disrespecting me? You started doing it much recently. 

When did I disrespect you? 

You started calling me stupid sometimes even infront of my friends. 

...

I'm sorry Marshal.

Damn, I had that as a red flag of you, or fuck that cringe ass word I just thought you never say sorry but I'm reliefed now. 

...

Let's light a joint and talk about you Zoey, you never really talk about yourself.

You can ask me anything. 

What makes you feel, at all? For example; what makes Zoey angry all the time? I wanna hear all the fucked up things you have went through. 

...

What is the reason behind your smile now? 

Stop questioning everything Marshal, I just don't have enough control over my expressions.

Alright, I just think you need to cry, Zoey. I'm a shoulder for you to cry, you know? Stop keeping everything inside because you will explode eventually.

...

People around me are not even close, Zoey. They have been with me just because I'm cool. I don't think you are one of them, you love me for who I am... Even if I don't know you well, but I expect everything from everyone so, I wouldn't be surprised if you cheat on me. 

Hmm, Okay.

You remind me so much of how I was when I was 19. I do understand you Zoey, people are very very predictable. I know what will happen after every thing I do, and I know in most cases what will happen and how people will act next. Here in this place, people talk and look and they will harass you, Zoey. At some point you will get tired.

I don't think you understand me that well, thinking of all the assumptions you make about me. 

I'm just making assumpions so you correct what I said wrong, and make you talk.

Stop making assumptions, you will know, eventually. Stop focusing too much on little things. 

Focus too much on little things? Like the eggs we fought about 10 minutes ago just because i said we should make them seperately? I'm just sad we met in the worst time possible. I was just in my prime, and... I'm just not okay mentally or physically right now. 

You find the right and real people in the hardest times Marshal, don't you? 

Yeah you're right, I think everything would've been different if we met 6 months ago. I wouldn't have never dated you for example, Zoey. I would've just said you're such a crack head.

...

What did you even mean yesterday when you said you wouldn't date me if I met the past you because I was a 'crackhead'

This is one of the things that I said just to be mean, I have never said anything like that before. I was really just being mean because you were, Zoey. 

I wasn't being mean at that moment I was just saying that you meet the real people in such bad times. I wouldn't have dated you either.

You are right.

What's funny? You think you were too cool to not date?

It's not funny but, I love the fact that both of us said or agree to that but I actually don't mean it. It would have just been better if we met in a better time. 

It doesn't matter, Marshal.

It doesn't, all I care about is here and now. 

...

Marshal, I have a question. 

What is it?

Do you still feel the euphoria we feel when we are together anymore? Or do you feel like something changed after you knew me for some time.

Yes I still feel it, I'm so sad you're asking this. And no, actually I think it get's better. We are progressing in everything we are doing, and we are learning a lot about ourselves. 

I feel like our talk wasn't that nice today, Marshal. 

Yes it wasn't and it's okay to do that, it was healthy. And today made me love you even more than I did before.

Yeah, but i felt pressured and i'm afraid to say this because, you think you have to filter yourself while talking to me. 

This will not happen again, But why did you feel pressured?

Because I felt like all you talk about is things I can't answer so you make assumptions.

I don't have to make assumptions anymore. And I'm sorry, for making you feel pressured.

I'm going to sleep. 

Good night, sleep well.