hi !

hello, i'm a little scared to write this, but i'm always a little scared. i guess, i've never really blogged before, and it's not like anyone will really read this so it's kind of freeing to say whatever. it's daunting to write for the whole world, but at the same time, it's really a small chance that someone even reads this. and if you are, hi! you'll probably click off in two seconds and i do not blame you. 

i've been wanting to start a band, or, get my name out there, you know? i have these two friends that are madly in love and want to song write together. i guess they're more into prog-rock than i am and maybe i'm afraid they won't understand my lyrics. both of them hate panic! at the disco. so, maybe, i make a band by myself? so that's not a band-but a solo career. which i don't know how to do by myself. so we're back to the friend band. we have no musical direction. no songs, no titles, no words. emptiness. i want to talk to them about it. i sort of hate the guitarist. i brought up the idea of me being the singer, and they both agreed. so, i have that. 

i guess we haven't really discussed any of it either. we will, someday. we just need a damn drummer.

i hope i'm recognized for my music one day. not huge radio hits, but it'd be nice to have fans. maybe i'll get so popular people will find this years later and read every one of my thoughts.

or not, it's not a big deal

but, after thinking about it, i don't think i'm the type to be famous. "famous". not like that means anything. but, i don't talk. i sit in the corner of the room until someone comes up to me (and typically nobody does; which isn't a problem, most days). i try to style my hair, it doesn't work. it's too curly for my bangs to stay in place and somehow flat irons do not work. whatever. i've worn straight-leg black jeans every day for years and band t-shirts from hot topic that cost $30.

what i'm saying is, i'm too weird to be cool. or maybe that's what makes me cool in the first place?

no, definitely the first option