I feel alone

My mom had a very hard life where she has always been alone, that´s why she  told me to have friends and now that I´m an adult, a boyfriend. I´ve always told her that I´m okay with me small group of friends and being single, but in these moments where I need someome to talk to, I realise my mom is right. I have no one to talk. My whole life friends doesn´t feel like friends, and my best friend can´t answer my messages because he is occupied. I made some besties on my English class, but we are not close. I don´t date, I don´t have any story to tell to people. My family (uncles, cousins, grandmothers) never cared about me, if something happens I can´t ask them for help. My dad is only present physically. I´m alone.

I don´t want to end up alone. 

And the only way I have to no end up alone is getting married with a man that has a good family that loves me. I don´t like that, sometimes I wish I wasn´t an only child so I would have someone to guide me and protect me. I don´t want to depend of a man, but well, I don´t want to end up alone too so.