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Life has been SOOOO insane recently like omg! my husband and i got some news recently about where we are living atm and we having to move within a month in a half now!! like whar ?? so little time but i know we can do it, i guess im just stressed cus as soon as i hit 21 its like 300 evil/good life events are happening without my say- i dont really mind i guess cus i understand growing up is hard but like damn !! im not sure what i was excepting lololol
i guess also some really nasty stuff has happened also,
i dont really know how to feel, every day i feel different and idk how to feel about that. im just happy my husband seems okay with "who ever i am that day" i guess
I just hope everything will be okay in the end, and if its not okay then its not the end! I know i have so many people in my life that will help me. i guess sometimes its just hard to get the "dirty" feeling off. its like every sense a few months ago i just wake up sick and i have to deal with it. i have to keep moving, keep going, growing. its hard to sometimes. death feels easier sometimes cus it is easier. but i dont want to die. i have my love, my friends, my community. im not going to let some disgusting creep loom over me but its hard sometimes. sometimes the only things keeping me going is my husband, i wish i grew up not a burden on my family but im being shown that i deserve love in way i genuinly thought i would never get. i was always the weird person in the room, the annoying person, etc etc.
but idk, ever since i met my husband i feel like i will always have someone in my corner. 
sorry this blog turned into a rant about my turama lmao lmao but im treating this page as my diary :PPP blehhh
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toastycat
Im so sorry that you are going through such a hard time, but its great that you have so many friends, family, and a husband you can rely on! Think of all the times you were there for them and helped them out, and I am sure they are more than happy to reciprocate now when you need the help. I genuinely encourage you to speak to a professional about this, when i went through something VERY similar, my therapist offered me genuine help and tools. Sending healing and light your way.
thank you toasty cat <3 I can feel the good light ur sending already :-)
by Zac !!; ; Report