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There are days when I feel like I can't take it anymore, like everything inside me is broken and there is no way to fix it. My head never shuts up. All the time repeating the same thing to myself: that I am useless, that I am subnormal, that I am an idiot, that I am worth absolutely nothing. And the worst thing is that I no longer know if they are just thoughts or if that's what I really am. I look at myself and I only see someone who fails at everything. I feel like I'm superfluous, that I'm unnecessary anywhere, as if my presence bothers me even though no one says it out loud. It's like everyone has a place except me. As if I were a mistake. I never want to go to school. Never. It's not laziness, it's something deeper. Just thinking about having to go exhausts me, blocks me, fills me with anxiety. It's like going somewhere where I don't belong, where I feel small, out of place, invisible or even judged. Every morning is a fight with you, but also a fight with myself, a battle to get up knowing that I don't want to be there, that I don't fit in, that I'm not enough for that world. There are moments when my head goes to very dark places. Thoughts that scare me, but that also appear as a kind of escape. Thoughts of hurting myself, of disappearing, of stopping feeling all this. And I hate thinking like that, but at the same time I feel like I don't know how to stop. My relationship with food is also chaos. There are days when I eat without control, as if I were trying to fill a void that is never filled. And other days when I don't want to eat anything, as if it could disappear little by little, as if I didn't even deserve to eat. It's a constant battle with myself, with my body, with everything. And the worst thing is how I treat myself. He talks to me terribly, he insults me, he beats me down constantly. I don't give myself rest. It's like I have someone inside me who only knows how to hurt, who only knows how to tell me that I'm worthless, that I'm a failure. And I'm starting to believe it. I'm tired. Tired of feeling like this all the time. Tired of everything weighing so much, of not finding a place, of never feeling enough. It's like I'm stuck in my own head and can't get out. I don't know how to get out of this. I don't know what to do to make it stop. But I know I don't want to keep feeling this way, I don't want this to be all I am.