dreaming is important for commiting to things.

as a teenager i often thought of why i couldn't commit to things for more than a week. i would register myself to every single activity my school offered and never found the motivation to keep going after a while. (＃￣ω￣) Of course i carried this into my adulthood. becoming an adult isn't a magical fix to whatever identity issues i had as a teen. 

the years and doing random stuff did teach me something that i want to share here. 

  write everything down.

no, not on your phone. on a notebook, notepad, gas receipt, whatever you have laying around. glowing rectangle isn't good at reminding you of actually useful things, only crap.

 plan everything.

i wanted to knit a sweater since i was 12. i kept buying yarn, freehanding things and giving them away. never had a finished sweater. until last year!! i bought a pattern and the exact materials required and kept bragging about my progress. having a structured plan was the only thing that kept me from scraping that sweater again, and now i have a chunky thing made all by myself :3

 dream about it.

i realized a lot of my idle time is spent thinking about stuff that pisses me off, and as soon as someone approaches me i snap at them. that can't be good for me or anyone else. i'm reading this book i thrifted about witchcraft and the author mentions manifesting and creative thinking, about how we attract what we are constantly thinking about. 

even in a non magical way i think that makes sense! when i'm doing chores or commuting or something boring, i think about the ways i could solve my math homework, or how i could fix something broken, or what kind of things i could do with my friends on weekends, and that makes me excited! and excited means it won't get boring. and i will continue because it's not boring.

i want to share something i did recently because i kept planning, dreaming and writing about it. 

there's a lot of trash outside. i always see people waiting for the bus in the scorching hot sun and trash around them. that makes me sad. i kept dreaming that one day i went outside and cleaned everything, and kept that idea around. well, today i did it!! 

there was A LOT and this was a small patch of grass, I haven't finished since it took me two hours to clean this small space. I'll have to come back later, and i'm thinking on adding trash cans so i can clean up faster. 

a lot of people passed by, said hi, smiled at me. i felt happy and proud of myself! and i have a lot of energy, it makes me happy to see i did something for everyone :) and dreaming about it while bored helped me not chicken out by the thought of being watched by strangers.

that's it i guess. have a nice day!!!!

using the old layout bc i want to add things to it...