nowhere to find help.

i think the biggest reason that I am currently driven insane is because the help I need to seek is never there.

my friends are all in their own worlds and I don't want to disturb them. even if they offer I will pretend everything is okay.

my family have zero emotional intelligence and just find any way to laugh at the situation.

i can't afford conversational behavioural therapy let alone find it in a fast time.

there is no coping mechanism for me to get through this.

9 times out of 10 i am helping others out rather than finding the help i need.

after getting diagnosed with depression and anxiety the other day this has only made it worse, yes I have clarity as to what I am going through but I have no solution to this clarity and I hate it.

no one to talk to, no idea what to talk about even if i could, and no idea what i can do to help improve the state i am in. alongside pretending that everything is okay to the outside world, i am tired of my default response being "I'm great!" knowing damn well i'm just a living void at the moment.