yaoï

Originally published in december 2025 but whateverrrr

Even though the title sounds pretty heavy, I have no intention of writing an essay on the future of yaoi or yaoi for the future (maybe someday)...

This year I’m a senior in high school, so I naturally decided to focus on my studies and drawing because I’d like to study 2D animation! As a result, I’ve put visual kei on hold—it was VERY hard—but I’ve replaced it with reading. Something that had taken a backseat in my life this year, even though I’m really a bookworm. I have three library cards from three different cities that I use to read all the books I want to read. I’ve read all the manga in the libraries around me (or almost all of them)! And my obsession with yaoi has returned thanks to the magnificent Ai No Kusabi (1994 and 1996 OVAs)

I watched the OVA at my grandmother’s house without any shame at 10 p.m., and I had trouble sleeping because it affected me so deeply. Later, I watched the 2011 remake on Christmas Eve before midnight mass (yes, really), and now I’m reading the novels—which I’ll actually finish soon: the group suicide starts in 1 week! BUT, I want to share this review I posted on Twitter (private account) that I wrote in the heat of the moment, and I think that’s what matters most: “I really, really liked the sci-fi universe. I think the whole class thing is a bit far-fetched and goofy, especially because of the names (Blondy??), but it’s really poorly explained. We really only know the bare minimum, and we have to figure out the world’s structure and rules beyond our main characters. The fact that the story isn’t centered on romance makes the work much more enjoyable in my opinion; I’m thrilled we didn’t get 15 sex scenes but just a few to show their growing closeness + this unconventional way of showing affection. The pace is slow; I didn’t get it all until the end, and that’s something I usually don’t like, but here it worked—I’m a sucker for it, I loved feeling my brain cells connect! It’s the story of two men who could never make their relationship official because it’s taboo, and you really feel that in the BDSM elements that are everywhere. The whole anime is unsettling; the way it’s presented pushes the boundaries of moral ethics, and I think that really fits the core theme."

All that adrenaline rush after watching something like that only made me want to watch even more old yaoi, and that's exactly what I did: Zetsuai, Seikima Darling, Fake... It’s such a pleasure to see the works that influenced the yaoi coming out today; a lot of it hasn’t aged well, but I can easily overlook that since it’s older. However, in a recent yaoi, I won’t let it slide, okay? No excuses for romanticizing rape (and I’m not talking about toxic yaoi where it’s shown that it’s wrong and that clearly the two guys need to break up for their own good—I’m not into mindless cancel culture, so please, fujoshi, don’t kill me). AND AMONG THESE DISCOVERIES, I read the epic “Le jeu du chat et de la souris”—it’s not from the ’90s at all, but it was a huge hit in France during the early days of yaoi—and I fell in love with it IMMEDIATELY. Both volumes together—what a spectacle! Volume 1 on its own—which was the original plan—is just okay; you can see the potential but it’s not fully realized. But then, with volume 2??? SETONA MIZUSHIRO, WHO ARE YOU???? YOUR FIRST ADULT YAOI AND YOU COME UP WITH THIS??? Oh my goodness, it blew me away a second time, RIGHT AFTER AI NO KUSABI. My feelings were so strong that I wrote my thoughts on a torn piece of paper; I had to get it out, so I wrote everything down and reanalyzed the manga by reading it a second time. RIGHT AFTER AI NO KUSABI. My feelings were so strong that I wrote my review on a torn piece of paper; I had to get it out, so I wrote everything down and reanalyzed the manga by reading it a second time. And so, I decided to start writing a review for EVERY manga I read—even if it’s just five lines, I want to be able to reread the reviews of the mangas that moved me.

I’ve been binge-reading yaoi, and now I fully intend to do the same with yuri! Because even though there are fewer titles and they’re generally shorter due to the horrible Japanese industry, I’m sure I’ll find something I love! I’ve already read some yuri and I love it. Even though I really struggle with a certain style of art that’s very common in recent yuri, especially the ones published in France... Much to my dismay ━((*′д｀)爻(′д｀*))━!!!! Please, I hope the yuri industry has a BOOM! In the coming years, just like yaoi!

Otherwise, in my reading frenzy, I decided to put this to good use to improve my language skills: French, German, English... I write down all the words I don’t know in a notebook, organized alphabetically, and I’ve actually made quite a bit of progress so far, hehe! At first, I really couldn’t read German at all:it was pure torture. but now it’s going a little better. I can read several panels in a row without having to look up a specific definition. It took me 2 to 3 hours to read the first chapter of the yaoi manga in the photo because I had to write down TONS OF WORDS and use them in sentences (yeah, because otherwise it’s pointless, so imagine how long it took me to make sentences in German when I had to fit in “Schlüsselbein” even though I have zero vocabulary...)

At least what’s great about my insatiable appetite for reading is that it also helps me develop my own stories :) Whereas visual kei didn’t really help me with that... . I still love it, though! Don’t get me wrong, but it was taking up way too much of my life, and I’m actually pretty glad I forced myself to calm down a bit, if only for the sake of my wallet (′д｀σ)σ

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