Why?!!!!

3 years

I've been blaming myself for 3 years 

I've been thinking about you for 3 years  

I've been wanting to hear you laugh again for 3 years 

I've been trying to forget your face for 3 years 

It's been almost 6 years since you appeared in my lif

Even so, if I were given the opportunity to meet you again, I would do it without hesitation, I would be willing to be there for you again, I would be willing to accompany you that night even if it means that the next 3 years of my life will be full of melancholy

I know I couldn't change your mind, since I met you I knew, I just tried to buy time before you couldn't stop. 

But if I listened to you again, I wouldn't yell at you to shut up, I wouldn't yell at you to do it, I wouldn't yell at you to stop with me with your stupid victimhood, I wouldn't tell you that if you want to die hang yourself in some abandoned place so that no one would be bothered by your body.

If you want to remind me how bad I was to you I'll accept it, come on and tell me to my face how much you hate me, come and tell me how selfish I am for demanding that you feel good. 

After all this, the next day... Tell me how far you went in the DMC yesterday. Let's make a video call and show me your freshly washed bandages, and at night I'll tell you everything that happens during the day, I'll show you in detail each cut and you'll ask me what else I want to do. 

Hahaha ha Why did you do it? You were the only one who existed for me 

Only you knew that I allowed it for pleasure and not because I couldn't stop it 

What did I want to get to? Hahaha