medical debt getting drunk and dealing with parents

i was in the hosptital recently for a bad case of mono recently

i dont have insurance because i am a poor american so usually i would never go to the hospital for some dumb sickness 

but the mono apeared as liver damage 

which usually is a sign of an autoimmune disprdwr liek lupis 

which is what my mom died of

so  itook it more seriously and prayed i was not born to die young like my mom 

thankfully it was just mono. 

but now im thousands of dollars in debt because im young sick and stupid 

and im far far fr from home 

im really drunk writing this just getting off the phone with my dad and step mom telling them whats up and trying to assure them the economic stress of paying off the bills, part of my tuition, while also not being able to coem home because they cant afford for me to live at home over summer anymore isnt wieghing on me

i pregamed talkign to them knowing it woudl require a performance to tell them im unnafected and chill about everything. 

in  my real life im just fuckign larping. I hate all the rich bitched on my campus 

i know i chose to go to a private school in the middle of nowhere but ive actually gone through hell trying to relate to any of these goddamn bitches on capus who larp being working clas while being fully blown nepos. 

i just hate this 

i had so many friends at home, and everyone here i hate. i just cant relte to them 

i just more and more sucked into my own vsccume 

i only want to spend tiem with my boyfriend at this point cause he feels liek theonly poor bitch on this campus who gets me. 

also i am liek the only emo bitch on campus and i didnt realize hpw isolating that coudl feel

in socal everyone is emo basixally, now im the onkly emo larper on campus. 

at this point i only liek getting high alone and drunk with my like two friends who are normal 

i actively dislike everyoen else help me not feel this way comment below how to feel alive agian