AN OLD WOMAN'S TELLING OF SURVIVING THE APOCALYPSE

everyone under the orphaned sunrise cried
all you could hear was the faint wailing coming from the cities
i lived in the outskirts and i could still hear it through the deafening silence of everything else
the great crying, they called it, a month in which sobbing blossomed and died every day
like slow pulses of an entire reality going extinct
a great flood to wash away what was, as we knew it
and then, the world froze, now a a dead tree with no leaves
only lit by a clockwork wrapped around the earth
a plutonian sky despite our closeness to the sun

I'M NOT CRAZY, YOU'RE JUST MARMOT BRAINED

WIRE REC - EPH001 

NOTES: Ephraim is a bit wacky but for the moment there's very little to know when it comes to concerning behaviours. Apart from willingly not taking his meds... and isolation. Gotta call him next week for sure, to check in on the guy.

EPH: Y'know after we ran out of anti-delirium pellet ingredients in these parts, i been thinkin and connectin the dots a whoole lot. I know, I shoulda gone to the sector a couple bikes away, but i felt i was tapping into something here.
So, are you familiar with the idea of god being reality? the ancient branch of wisdom's take on god?

FG: I- uh, yeah i know a little bit- but wait how long have you been unmedicated now?

EPH: Ok so I'm gonna quickly set a base so i can present my thesis in progress! You see, this guy from hundreds of years ago proposed the idea that god was not unnatural and outside it all, removed. instead it's weaved into reality, it IS reality. RIGHT? Those moments where you feel like you truly are where you are, awestruck at mountains, feeling your size as you watch the sea rush to shore, genuine laughter, all that n a bag a'chips RIGHT? Now, the ancient wisdom branch. They were a branch of a long gone religion that had a very interesting view on god ant it's myth. They were almost buried by history, man, crazy shit. Anyway, they believed god to be composed of many aspects of itself, living in a realm called "Lumen Aureum". In this realm, the aspects of god lived and mingled and procreated amongst each other and what not, but one day the aspect of wisdom was bit by the aspect of boundless expansion, the reasons why vary from source to source, but, boundless expansion did not like the taste of wisdom so it spits it out, banishing this mangled, chewed up piece of a godly thing out of the lumen aureum. boundless expansion was then shunned and banished from the lumen aureum into the void with it's gnawed child, born from an agression and rejection on wisdom. they created the earth as a realm where they can control what happens, boundless expansion leading it's child in a march of conquest 

FG: I see... Where did you get these books from? Also please slow down.

EPH: Well, you now have a base, albeit broad strokes and probably lacking in some areas. Now my thesis: The branch of wisdom was onto something, so was that philosopher guy. I believe that we, as the species that can change and perceive and analyze reality the most, might be a sort of specially strong conduit for aspects of god to manifest their will. Thing is, they are in conflict with each other. Hence why life hasn't been wiped out. It was a tug o war between conquest, wisdom and their child, mostly. It seems other aspects of god manifest with less power than these 3 for the time being and that might be because we exist.

i'm proposing this as a framework to understand what maybe we cannot fully grasp, but i have  internalised this as truth

also i been outta meds for a week n some change, ma'am

FG: Ok... I'll notify the psych chem dept. Now... do you need help with these thoughts? Do you feel distressed by them in any way? 

EPH: No, not really. If anything i feel like i understand life more. What distresses me is that people are so dismissive about the shit i like to talk about. It's like we live in totally different universes. Not to look down on other mammals, but it feels like they are marmots. Really, I don't mean this as an insult or putting myself above them, i just think one of us lives thinking about reality so much more than the other... It gets lonely, you feel alienated from friends that somehow get you so much on other aspects and yet they seem to pull the plug off their ears n eyes the moment i start talking about the nature of knowledge or reality or whatever. Hedonism can bring complicated connections like that i suppose. We enjoy our bar goin n partyin ya see...

FG: You sound like so many dudes from the bohemian side of the social sciences level... You should maybe look into it! this place is huge, people gravitate towards those resembling them, communities grow like mold, ya get me.


EPH: I don't really go outside much, I live near the heavy machinery sector down at the first level. So loud... I only go out to get fucked up with my friends, but also, I gotta find a way to keep myself here and there's a chance for me there, it seems. I always looked at those archivist lookin folk longingly. wish i could make a living surrounded by ppl dressing weird and organising files

Really i came here cause no one would listen, I saw you started a counseling/therapy thing so here we are. What do u think of my thesis?

FG: Sounds very philosophical, not gonna lie. I think it's pretty good, nice symbolism and so on. Just don't start a cult or you will be used as polar bear bait

EPH: I'll try! Thanks, doc! I gotta go to chemical now, gotta get some arts n crafts goin'

Ephraim walks quickly to the door

(away from microphone)
eph: bye byee 

FG: UH- BYE- WAIT WHAT'S YOUR NAME AND WIRE NUMBER

Geneviéve quickly grabs her notebook and pen and runs to catch up to him
you hear her footsteps coming back after a couple seconds, they sound angry

FG: I swear to god, this guy. what's his deal, even?! 

door closes

FG: God damn.

Geneviéve hits the stop button on the wire recorder
clack
end of recording