(ED WARNING) therapy is weird

mentions of ed please refrain from this post if this will trigger you, please know I mean no harm and i'm just blogging about my life to help myself 





ok, so obviously therapy isn't weird for EVERYONE. but in my experience, it was weird, and i hate going to therapy. 

when I first started going to therapy, I was 11, my mother was going through sm stuff & she knew it was taking a toll on me (or, so she thought) so she started making me go to therapy twice a month.

At first, everything was fine. we talked about small stuff, like school, my hobbies, etc, but by the 4th time we met, she started to become.. strict? like she would force me to talk about stuff i didn't like to open up about, but then looking back on it, it is her job to make me open up and talk about what i'm going through, so i can't blame her

so, she asked me, "what do you usually eat at home?" and i thought, "oh, this isn't such a bad question." so i said what i usually ate and she said "wow. you seem to eat quite a bit." and started to like dive in on how much eating could 'affect' me. at the time, i was younger and thought "she's just giving me advice" but sooner or later, this would be the beginning of my ed.

so, it gets even weirder because almost every week it would seem food & body would be the ONLY thing she wanted to hear me out on, of course she had to ask me questions like "how's your mental health?" or "are you focused in school?" "is there something i can do to help? i'll hear you out." 

yea :) ill make a part 2 or edit this i'm just tired