tongue corpse

I feel like I can't talk to my friends about anything. I mean not anything just this one thing. I think there's this person I really like but they're so ambiguous all the time and never taking anything seriously. I used to like chaos but I can't do it anymore. I need clarification. I need to know if all the things that transcend the platonic mean anything. Am I the only one? Am I special or am I just stupid for being hopeful I stand a chance? This is confusing and I'm not sure what to do.

Apart from all that chaos, I've been rereading Wet Moon lately and it's so good. I watched a bunch of movies these holidays. I hardly did any homework though. I feel guilty sort of but it's not like I really wanna do anything other than slacking off. I don't understand why anyone would miss school. I can't wait to leave and do all the things I always wanted to do like dye my hair pink and get a septum. And Dahlia bites, a medusa, a labret and a third eye. I also want a tatoo of a unicorn on my thigh. I'll go to pride. I can't wait to leave school and I can't wait to leave my country.

current song: Play Dead - The Birthday Massacre