Life sucks

I'm really confused, I'm getting ready for hs and I don't know which one to go to. My friendgroup all wants to go to this one while my childhood friend wants me to go to the same hs as them and both are pretty good schools. My bestfriend is saying I should go to the same one as him but idfk. I'm also talking to this like 20 year old online. We used to just be online friends but then out of the blue he started sendimg me voice clips of him jerking off asking me If I am too and then always talking about fucking me even tho he knows my age he doesn't care and doesn't stop. My friend told me to block him but I'd feel bad and when I finaly mange to I always back out at the last minute because of something telling me not too. He makes my stomach turn but I still talk to him. Idk why is it because I'm so fucking insecure to the point tha I don't want to block him coz he complements me and always texts me good morning and good night but I still feel sick just thinking about him. My mom is never fucking home whenever I'm at her place latly she's been here tho but The past still hurts, She pretty much replaced me with his stupid bratty 6 year old daughter yet she doesn't seem to think so and My fucking feeling for someone I keep liking thus person even after I know he doesn't like me back it hurts but I ignore it he used to like me but then he started liking someon else who rejected me and now he likes no one but I just want him to fucing like me back is that to much to ask for but I'm not surprised since every guy that I like never likes me back most of them fall for my cousin who likes to bring up that her crushes always  like her back and everyone askimg her out. It makes me uncomftorble almost like she wants us to be jelous of her. I always feel like my friends are only friends because of my best friend and that they don't actually like me. And that they always talk trash behind my back like we do with this one kid we hate. I feel like I'm always annnoying and that I can never act like myself or else they'd be weired out or confused since they have no promblem making fun if me but im not trying to act like i'm innocent since I also do this most times I start it which makes me think everyone hates me. My dad yelled at me all week just coz I stayed a month at my mom and he acts like he's such a good parent when he acts like this but whatever it's life so Life is amazing makes me always happy and never sad 😁