graduation/looking back on life

i havent been on here in 4 years, and when i created this account i was in 8th grade, now im a senior a couple weeks from graduating, which is absolutely terrifying but so exciting at the same time. 

I think about how much i have grown over the past 4-5 years, and how far i have made it. i still dont know what i want to do in life, but i think thats okay. im only 18, im dont expect myself to know how i want to plan out the rest of my life, not alot of people know yet. 

Growing up i never thought i would find anyone to love me, so i stopped trying. but right when i stopped, i found a man that loves me as much as i love him, and he has helped me become a better version of myself that i never thought i could find. I think he believes in me more than i could ever believe in myself. If you ever or are thinking the same as i did when i was younger, you will find love, dont give up. I promise it will get better. 

Ive gone through horrible ups and downs, and the downs i thought i would never get out of, but i did, and you will as well. So to the few people that might read this rant, dont give up. 

ive learned to cherish every moment you have with someone, as over the past few years, ive experienced many deaths from family and friends. Some are sudden, some are expected, but they will all hurt just the same. I think the scariest part was seeing the people that you think are completely fine and happy might not be, so always be there even when you think that person is fine because they might not be, and maybe your words will change the rest of their life. You never know what someone is going through.

im looking at all the people i grew up with, watching how theyre changing in life, and being so curious about how they are going to end up in the next 5-10 years. it will be very scary to separate from all these extremely familiar faces and move on to this next chapter of our lifes, but i always just have to think to myself "everyone has done this before in their life, no reason i cant". the harsh reality is that this is just life. you loose people, you gain people, you fail, you succeed, etc. etc. 

To whoever is reading this, thanks for reading my random rant, and i hope your having an amazing day no matter when your reading this, because this might be ancient by the time people see this LOL. You will do amazing things in life, dont give up.