you seem pretty sad for a girl so in love

Olivia Rodrigo's third studio album you seem pretty sad for a girl so in love, was released recently on June 12th. since then, I've been listening to the whole thing over and over again.

initially, this album review was only going to be about my rankings and my brief thoughts on each song. then I realized it'd be better to talk about what each song has made me feel in more detail.

I think it's rare to see an artist curate a world for an album the way Olivia did. each song represents a different stage of a romantic relationship: from being so excited to be around the person you like that you feel as though you could ''drop dead'' if the two of you were to kiss, to the lingering feeling of emptiness someone leaves behind, much like how cigarette smoke sticks to your hair or the clothes you wear. I think the tracks should be listened to in order, especially if it's your first time hearing the album. I mean, that's kind of obvious, but I still felt it was worth mentioning.

another thing I liked about how she curated that world was how she extended it with visuals. I love that the MVs and lyric videos were created by other artists Olivia collaborated with. I really appreciate all the work everyone put into this project.

my overall rating for this album would be 8/10. I had a hard time trying to do every song justice, but in the end, I just went with how each song made me feel based on my own life experiences. I've kinda tried to make every song about myself. you can find reviews that evaluate the technical aspects of the songs anywhere. mine is as personal as it gets, and I think when you have an album this heartfelt in your hands, that's the way you should do it.

drop dead 7,4/10

I've written about how I felt about one specific line in the song ''one night I was bored in bed/and stalked you on the internet'' in April, around the time it got released. I thought drop dead was an exciting song but having this creepy line in the chorus just kinda ruined the vibe it was supposed to give off.

idk, I'm a firm believer that you shouldn't try to dredge up details about people, even if that information is just sitting out there, tempting you to make assumptions about them. don't even skim through that stuff... you'll probably end up idealizing that person and seeing them as a concept that fits within strict boundaries rather than someone, a human being, who's constantly changing; and it's not fair to anyone involved.

kinda off topic but I really dislike it when people keep tabs on someone's social media presence: their likes, following, and activity; and by ''people'' I mean me, sometimes. I really dislike the fact that society has reached a point where everyone is communicating passively by monitoring each other's online activity. I try to be an analogue person, but I've realized I still do my own share of that tab-keeping thingy, sadly.

all it took for me to realize this was a twitter post (click). for the past couple months, all that's been showing up on my twitter feed has been Olivia Rodrigo related posts. seeing people replace a vague phrase like ''the internet'' with something more specific, a website I visit often, made me go like, u-uh... I'm no saint.

in my defense: when you like someone to the point where you feel like you could literally faint -I mean, drop dead- when they're near you, those slip-ups happen. so, as it turns out, Olivia was right, though that line in the lyrics still feels out of place to me. whatever.

to my friends: please send me monthly updates on what you're up to. where you've traveled, what silly thing you've been into recently, what's been troubling you, maybe some OOTDs too... let's ditch Instagram and interact as if we were pen-pals.

well... enough yapping about my personal life, and back to the song... I never feel the need to play it myself, but I never skip it when it comes up in my queue. I guess the sparks just refuse to form between us. also, I didn't understand the line about the bathroom line in Versailles, someone please explain.

stupid song 8,8/10

honestly, who came up with the line ''they say honest love is a cage that makes you feel free''? people like me, people who feel like imposters unless we are almost pathologically straightforward with the people we care about, were lost in their thoughts for a minute there.

really, what is the right amount of doubts, insecurities, mistakes, and hurt you can share with someone else? am I obliged to share it if it's something that could permanently change the way they perceive me, even if it's in the past? how acceptable is it to trauma-dump everything onto someone's lap just because they're kind, understanding, and mature enough to handle it? why do I feel like I have to make ''confessions'' about everything that has ever happened to me, to make sure I'm not wasting someone's time, because deep down I feel like I am nowhere near enough for them?

okay, let's keep taking things out of context and interpreting the lyrics exactly how I want, ''and if there's a God, he's the bond between us two.''

I've always believed that being able to connect with people is the most important thing in this life. I've been a loner all my life, sometimes by choice and sometimes because I had to. since I was often uninteresting, rigid, and weird; I thought I would only deserve connection if I maintained my image of being top of the class. I remember wishing I could trade some of my grades for friends who could show me a different reality than the one I always knew.

maybe the connection between two people doesn't really live up to its hype, but again, I'd never know. from where I stand, that bond feels like the only divine thing I can really believe in, and I try to act accordingly, though I'm not really sure how successful I am at practicing it.

honeybee 7,4/10

''I hope I never see what your face looks like going.'' this is the part where she's fully inside the swamp that is called love, I guess. she's trying so hard to make her feelings known, it's not just about reassurance at this point: ''even when I'm quiet/I love you, baby, I promise.'' and the omission of the actual words in the last chorus makes it even more meaningful: ''even when I'm quiet/...I promise.''

still, this is one of my least favorite songs on the album. I don't have much to say about it, except that Olivia wrote all these lyrics on her own, and I think that's great.

maggots for brains 9,7/10

my favorite track on the album! normally I don't sing along to anything, but I've been going like ''I feel dirty, I feel rotten/and the colors are all flat'' for days. she probably meant it in a bed-rotting or her feeling head-over-heels kinda way. that line, and ''I'm a sad shell of a woman/and I've got maggots for brains'' pretty much explains how I've been feeling for the past couple years.

I cut off 0,3 points, because I think it'd be better if it were a little less male-centered, but in the context of the album, it's super understandable. I just wish I could listen to it and make it completely about myself, not a relationship, but whatever, I love this song!!! <3

u + me = <3 7,6/10

my first impression of u + me = <3 was that it kind of feels like it could be playing in a girly store at the mall, at prom, or just in my room while I'm giggling and kicking my feet thinking about someone I like; and I think that pretty much covers my opinion about the song, with not much else to add.

my way 6,5/10

my way was one of my favorites on my first few listens to the album, but right now I can't really see what I liked about it so much. with a rating of 6,5 out of 10, it's my least favorite song on the album. I don't like it being about a girl; I think it kinda ruins the story she was going for.

purple 7/10

when you mention blue and red making up purple, all I can think of is Halsey's Colors, I'm sorry. I don't think Halsey's cheesy Tumblr poem song can be easily topped in terms of influence. of course, Halsey doesn't own that analogy and it's not like Olivia copied anything, but I can't stop thinking about Colors while listening to purple. and I don't even like Colors that much, I must have listened to it maybe ten times in my whole life.

anyway, back to purple: the ''are we so in love/are we too attached/melt with you 'til it all turns black'' part is a novel touch, and I like it the best. as Olivia herself said, purple is when the things start to get sour in this story told across 13 songs.

the cure 8,9/10

I initially rated this song much lower because I was -and still am- really irritated by a specific verse in it: ''used to play a game in my head when I'd date a guy/tally up the girls that he f-cked 'til I start to cry'' well, I do play a similar game myself, and no matter how much I try to be a jealous person, I just can't bring myself to care about things like that (provided there's no abuse or anything that could be a warning sign involved, of course), and I hope it stays that way, lol. I don't have it in me to be anxious about anything else.

I think obsessing over this kind of stuff can make people act so out of place that their toxicity ends relationships and kills any respect their partner once had for them. like, why are you jealous, needing reassurance at 2 am, and spamming me with texts and calls because I literally just hugged someone I liked at some point in the past? friendly reminder: please try your best to keep your RJ issues in check, if you have them.

that being said, while I've never had any intrusive thoughts about someone's past, I do get jealous over interactions that happen after I've met them, after they've known me. I mean, I sometimes do.

anyway, I updated my initial rating of 7,8 out of 10, because this song so beautifully captures the reality of something I myself am going through.

''all the nights I spend fighting bad thoughts in my room/feeling so alone, might as well be on the moon/I thought I found the antidote with you/but my head is full of poison/and my heart is full of doubt''

''why can't you come stitch me up?/why can't it ever be enough?''

it really isn't enough, and someone else's care will never truly be the cure. I feel as unraveled as she does. idk, she said it all.

begged 6,8/10

it disappointed me that begged sounds exactly like its live acoustic version... I couldn't get as excited as I thought I would be when the full album dropped, because I've already heard begged exactly as it is many times.

what's wrong with me (ft. Robert Smith) 7,5/10

I expected more from this song since Robert Smith was in on it :( but it still captures a feeling I've had for a long time, so I liked it anyway. really, does Olivia ever miss?

''I'm just searching up my symptoms/desperate to fix 'em/I'll do anything.''

the real ones will remember the desperate poll I put on my profile a couple months ago, and it's still up via the link... (click) I really did ask random people what they thought was wrong with me, huh... and searched for answers in every corner of the internet. two people have filled it out so far, and I really appreciate it, thanks guys.

I'm putting it up again; it's completely anonymous and there's no character limit, so tell me what you think if you want to.

less 9/10

I usually skip songs like this: no bridge, all piano, all whining. but could this one be a pop ballad masterpiece??? I think this is the saddest song on the album. it makes sense because the next one, expectations, covers the time a couple months after the breakup where she reclaims her worth and start making some decisions, while less reflects the moment of the actual breakup.

''if loving me means letting go/and wishing me the best/then I guess/I wish, I wish, I wish/you loved me less.''

expectations 8,3/10

normally songs that explore similar topics to expectations make me feel really bad about myself, songs about loving and respecting yourself with no compromises... see Long Way 2 Go by Cassie and Obsessed by Addison Rae; those two could give me a panic attack on a day that's already been stressful. I sometimes listen to them on purpose though, I think exposing myself to triggers might slowly erase them over time.

expectations is very different from those two the way it's not just about being all about yourself, putting up boundaries perfectly and not letting people have access to you unless they provide something of value. Olivia isn't reluctant to express the insecurity she may or may not be experiencing herself IRL. since this album tells a story of a relationship, she again taps into those feelings.

the earlier songs in the story are all honest, heartfelt, and carry a certain amount of sadness within them. so when it comes to the chapter expectations covers -a couple months after the breakup- her shift into a better mindset feels natural, earned.

I don't remember if I've mentioned this in any of my previous entries, but I've been terrified of needing, wanting and asking for better things for myself for a long long time, and I still am. I'm scared that if I set any boundaries, like, any at all; people would give up on me so quickly, since I'd no longer be interesting, since I'd be just too much work. that's how it has always gone so far.

this will sound so weird, but I'm so jealous of the girls who can break guys' hearts on a whim and still be missed like crazy. I long to be able to reject things I'm not comfortable with, be stubborn, be allowed to seem sad sometimes, be inconvenient... and still be cared for.

but, yeah! despite everything, expectations has been very easy to listen to so far. I have Olivia as an artist to thank for that, she made this whole experience of songs as chapters of a love story feel as authentic as she could.

cigarette smoke 9/10

there's not much I can say about cigarette smoke, other than how it makes me feel really cold. like, physically... I'm here writing all of this in my leather jacket in the middle of June. repeating the part with ''the memories go dark'' over and over feels like the best way to finish telling this story. it leaves me feeling hollow.

we've come to the end of this blog. I won't be talking about never do because I'm not sure where it exactly fits in the story, and I'm also tired of yapping. I hope you have a nice day and maybe we'll meet again in another overly dramatic album review.