i dont want to grow up

so i just graduated high school and im doing the college entry exams (or however you call it in your country) and ughhhaaa things are going soosooooo fast. i swear i was in middle school learning basic algebra.

its so annoying cauusueee that just means after my exams i will have to apply to a college andddd picking what subject i would like to continue buutt the thing is I genuinely have no subjects in mind nor do i see myself doing anythhinggg in the future. i gettt that im not supposed to fully know butuut it just helps,.,.in a way..,??? it kind of helps me be motivated but ijustHAVENOTHIJNGGGG IN MINDD. i dont enjoy any subjects and i dont have any hobbies. 

i dont like the idea of growing up. i never did. i just want to go back to when i was still learning how to write. i dont like knowing that soon enough i have to start living alone and doing things alone andugahhh. sorry if this seems stupid but its the middle of the night and i cant sleep. 

thank you for reading my small rant.,,expect more..maybe