Good decision

It’s been some days I think since I deleted my now ex bsf, me and her had a connection that I didn’t have with any other friend but we made that bond through our traumas and supporting each other’s questionable things lol but it wasn’t because of that that made me decide to block her, I was sad and crying everyday because she was closer to someone else, I know is not good that I was so dependent of her but I couldn’t help it when she was everything I ever wanted but so suddenly I felt like she was pushing me away to just be with that girl all the time, everyone has their right to find the people who makes them the happiest but I guess she knew she was my everything and she told me she would never push me away but actions speak louder than words and I decided to push myself away from her too, slowly so I don’t get more sad when I get to block her.

So I did that, after some weeks of doing so I sent her a small message saying how I was feeling, that I loved her and that she was my entire world and that sadly we couldn’t do the things we promised to each other to do, I told her I was selfish for wanting her to be only with me and that it was affecting me a lot.

Do I hate her? No I don’t, I never did and I don’t think I will be able to even hate her, she still has room to improve because we weren’t perfect and I wasn’t the best influence either, I feel indifferent towards all of it but I wanted to write about it here so I could get opinions from different people or if anyone had any similar experience so I don’t feel that lonely, at first I was feeling guilty because at the end we are both mentally ill and I don’t know what she is capable of because I blocked her but I keep thinking that now is none of my business and that I can only wish for her to have a good and peaceful life if that’s what she wants at the end.