lesbians, platonic (?) cucking, and grooming.

Thursday, April 30th, 2026.

Today was a mess, a really big hot mess. 

One of my friends started flirting with an 18 or 19 year old dude…she’s 16.what’s worse is he shut her down at first, but she kept going. I don’t know if that’s serious, maybe I’m overreacting because nobody else seems to care, but it feels like a major boundary being crossed here. She keeps calling him fine Shyte, and eventually he started reciprocating….I dunno, I feel like I’m crazy, is that wrong? I feel like there’s a bit of a maturity gap there, and even he referred to it as her trying to “get him on a list.”

This is weird, I don’t know what to do. Maybe I’m going crazy. Nobody seems to care. Maybe I know there’s a maturity gap between them because I know her personally. She recently broke up with her boyfriend, and, as much as it pains me to say, is the type who thinks dating a boy is the end all be all.

I’ll try to figure more out about this tomorrow. This situations just feels….iffy to me. I also don’t like that even after he rejected her, she kept pushing it. Now he’s reciprocating after acknowledging that she’s too young for him…..nobody takes this shit seriously dude.

On another note, I’m being cucked by my ex best friend, who, after ghosting me for a whole summer, replaced me with a girl I’m friends with and who I admire. Every day she practically Ass kisses her the entire class period….it makes me sick. Even more sick because I kinda had feeling for her…….my ex friend, not the girl she’s replaced me with.

I miss her, I miss our friendship. She stopped talking to me, because, to be honest, I used to be the overly sarcastic, rude type. I didn’t even realize it but, I was generally just a negative person. She wanted to avoid me, and had every reason too. She didn’t tell me though. When she did, I wanted to resolve things but when we did….she just ditched me. Before you come at me, I’m not that person anymore. I’ve since apologized, and became much better of a friend. I’m not a cynical asshole any longer.

It just pains me so much because I never got to admit how I felt to her. Now I have to stare, as she hugs and laughs with someone else in front of me. She’s into girls…but I didn’t know that, and I told her I wasn’t into chicks. We used to hold hands, and sleep close….

I hate this. I’ve moved on. I don’t like her like that anymore, but I think I just miss the way it felt to be so close with someone like that. Do I deserve this? Even after I changed? I’m sorry. I wish I could go back and change myself earlier. The way I wanted to for so long. Maybe we would’ve been friends. Or maybe this is just the way you are, replacing people once you get bored. We’ll see. Maybe it’s both. I think it’s both. I still hate myself.

This sucks. Today sucked. I’m so stressed for my final, and so many things are going on. Teenhood is a nightmare.

Whatever. I need to study.