depressed

im not sober anymore. i just couldn't resist. I dont know why im so sad these days. I have really weird mood changes. its weird. But yeah thats what ive been dealing with. I want to hide them but i want people to notice something is wrong, but noone ever acknowledges me even if they see the scars. They don't care enough to even ask if im okay. And its fine yk, some people just dont want to talk with people like me cause it affects them. But ignoring me isn't okay at all. I wanna tell my mom, but i dont know how she would react. Maybe ill just not wear my bracelets. They're not so visible right now since they're from three days ago. I need her to know that im not being lazy, im just not mentally able to do much right now. I have to deal with school, teachers, classmates, my grandma, religion, and my annoying little ass cousins that make my head ache. It's exhausting waking up at 6 to go to seminary and then to school and coming back at 5 to have two hours to only complete my work. every day at 8 or 8 30 i have to read the scriptures with my mormon grandparents which is really tiring. i hate it. i want to live with my mom already. cant wait to pass this damn test and for summer break.