I got prescribed Hedonin/ Quetiapine, and I don't like where this is going.. (this blog kind of turned out like a dairy)

This is the Update of my "I can't sleep anymore" blog 

Today I went to see my psychiatrist again and he prescribed me Hedonin.

Lately, sleep has been a total nightmare—or rather, a lack of it. I’ve been struggling so much with insomnia and just general trouble falling asleep that it’s started to bleed into every other part of my life. When you can’t sleep, everything feels ten times heavier. So, the goal with this new medication is finally to get some rest.

But as I’m looking at this box of Hedonin, I’m feeling a lot of conflict. I’ve been doing my research, and honestly, the side effects have me really concerned.

I’m worried about the weight gain and the metabolic changes, which feels like a heavy price to pay just to be able to close my eyes at night. But even more than that, I’m scared of the "black box" warnings. It’s so surreal to be prescribed something for sleep and depression, only to read that it can actually cause worsening d3pression and su1cidal (I'm not sure if I should censor these words) thoughts during the first few weeks.

I need to sleep to keep my mental health stable, but the medication I need to sleep might make my mental state more dangerous for a while. It’s a lot to process. I’m hoping that because I’m using it for sleep, the sedating effect will just help me drift off and skip over those dark thoughts, but I know I have to stay vigilant.

I’m going to be keeping a close eye on my mood and staying in touch with my doctor. To anyone else out there fighting for a decent night's sleep—I see you. It’s a hard battle.

Has anyone else here used Hedonin or Quetiapine specifically for insomnia? Did it help you get your schedule back, or were the side effects too much? I'm so scared to take it, because of it's side effects.. I'm supposed to call my psychiatrist on Monday to tell him how I'm feeling on this medication, but I'm not sure if it isn't better to just call him tomorrow, to tell him that I don't like the idea of taking Quetiapine... I'm not sure what to do, and my stomach started hurting again..

update: I took the pill at 2AM last night. It started affecting me from 2:30 to 4AM and I felt like I've been drugged, but not enough to fall asleep 

I feel asleep after 4AM

I woke up at 10AM from the sound of my parents yelling at eachother and I stood up to get water from the kitchen. I stood up and when I was walking I felt nauseous, my vision went black and my ears were ringing. I found my bed as quickly as possible.

It's been an hour since that happened. I can't stand up from my bed. I'm barely typing, my hands are shaking and I can barely think

My father came into my room. I told him how I'm feeling right now, and he yelled at me to stop taking pills and to stop drugging myself. I can't even comment on that. It's been so common these few years to hear something like that from my parents, and I am not even surprised 

I have a lot of stuff to do today and I can't stand up

I don't think this is for me

Day 2 after taking this one pill: 

- I couldn't get to sleep before 6AM and I missed my art classes for today. I've been feeling weak and nauseous the whole day. I don't know when this pill will get out of my system, but it's one of the worst mistakes I've ever made. I don't know how I'll be up at 7AM tomorrow for my classes. I don't think I'll feel better by tomorrow.

Day 3 after taking this one pill: 

- I couldn't get to sleep before 4:30AM. I was nauseous the whole day and night. I missed my classes again.. I woke up at 1PM and my head hurted ever since.. I've never felt more mentally, emotionally and physically worse in my whole life. I need to study today, and I also need to go to sleep at 10PM, since I need to be up at 6AM the next day for school. I am constantly feeling cold and weak. Idk how I'll manage to go through my day tomorrow, but that will be the day I finally call my psychiatrist again.

Day 4 after taking this one pill: 

- I couldn't get to sleep before 4:30AM again. I had to wake up early for school but I missed my classes. I couldn't stand up. I finally called my psychiatrist and told me how I've been feeling those days. I also told him that I don't wanna take Quetiapine anymore, and he decided to just prescribe me more Xanax and to stop the Quetiapine. I also needed him to write me a note for my school absences. I'm concerned about my constant headaches, so tomorrow I'll go to my GP to ask her what should I do, and what doctor should I go to. The bad thing is that I need to be up early again tomorrow and I hope that this night I'll finally be able to get some sleep. These days are genuinely the worst 4 days in my life.

Day 5 after taking this one pill: 

- I had a piercing headache until noon. My head is spinning the whole day, and I can barely walk. I'm so nauseous, and I can't eat anything the past 5 days. Every small bite makes me gag, but I know I should push through that in order not to get worse. I have an appointment with a neurologist for the next Wednesday for my constant headaches. Sadly I have to wait an entire week... I've been feeling so depressed these days. All I wanted was to just go out with a friend, even if I can barely walk. Nobody wants to go out with me, nobody has the time or the energy for me. I feel so alone. The one thing that makes me feel better can't happen.. I'm so sad..

Day 6 after taking this one pill: 

- I managed to fall asleep after 7AM. Slept almost the whole day, but still felt better than yesterday. I feel a bit lightheaded, but I think I'm starting to get to my old self. This is the goal I'm putting, in fact I think, that will be the only thing that will cure me. I still need to get some fresh air.. I'll probably go outside tomorrow for an hour or something 

Day 7 after taking this one pill: 

- so today I felt a bit of a headache, and I'm a bit nauseous. I need to be up at 7AM tomorrow, and idk how I'll manage to fall asleep early 

Day 8 after taking this one pill:

- I managed to fall asleep around 5AM, but I needed to be up at 7AM in order to meet a neurologist (my date got changed) and after that I needed to go to my GP and blah blah, I didn't have much sleep again and I'll try to get some sleep this night, cuz I have art classes early tommorow. I'm not sure if I'll keep updating this blog tho. I think I'm starting to get better and my only issue is the trouble falling asleep, the headaches and the nausea, but everything else seems to be pretty much the same for the past 2 days. And I hope I don't get any worse..