him...

i know it's useless to talk about it, but i loved him, i loved him in a way i never experienced before.
i've never seen romantic love growing up, it was only fights, screaming, arranged marriages and nothing more, but somehow, i loved him in the purest and most innocent form of love, i still don't know how, though i admit am a messed up person.
i dont want him back, and i dont miss him either, i even hate the version of me that loved him and believed that he would change someday, but somehow, deep down in my heart, i wish it worked out.

maybe i just wanted a proof that i can be loved.

maybe i just love the idea of being loved, and not to love.