i love me :3

i am fat and that is okay. i am ugly and that is okay. i have plenty of issues and that is okay.

i've always wanted to be someone i wasn't because i wanted people to like me. i would pick at my skin because i thought i could peel away the skin and be someone else. for most of my life, at least to me, i've never felt like person. i would make up names and different identities because i was not happy with myself.

i did alot of things that got me hurt from a very young age because i sook validation from adults that wanted to take advantage of me. sometimes i cant sleep knowing someone could be using those photos for whatever. i was stupid. that is okay.

there was a period of my life where i was me, but wasnt really "me", you know? there wasn't a me to begin with.

sometimes i think of my first friend. we were 7 and he was skinny with honey brown eyes and i taught him english and he told me he loved me, in the little kid way of course. i wonder what he saw in me. 

he's not with us anymore (do not drink and drive, please) and i wonder if maybe i would've been a little happier if he was still with me. i like to think that when i love myself thats a part of him loving me too.