I should have been a housewife

I have absolutely no desire to do anything in particular for myself. I spend my days pitifully crawling back between the college that I am tearing myself apart trying to continue with, and the home where I am stuck in entirely unfulfilling circumstances and failing to pick up any hobbies because I have absolutely no desire to actually draw or write or generally create anything in particular while repeatedly staring down the barrel of trying to actually learn a hobby and be a person because I feel like I need to do something.

Things would be so much better if two people could actually live on one income. I just want to do things for my imaginary beautiful spouse who can cope with living a life in the world out there and I can just lean on them forever and I take care of them as much as they take care of me. I'm only concerned about having people I love around me and I don't even get that much because I live in a hell where I can't even be friends with anybody. I should simply have grown up being told how to be pretty and then being courted and then that's all that anything should be