Being closer to god MY experience

DISCLAIMER: English isn't my first lenguage so sorry for bad grammar and everything. Im NOT forcing anyone to anything this is MY experience and i want to share it.

All my life i've been a Catholic just the usual rosary, mass, etc but it was more an obligation than faith (ik it sounds bad but keep reading) so recently like 3 months-ish i felt like The virgin mary calling me feeling this warm feeling in my heart so i ask her to help me with a guy i was talking to (he wasn't the best person tho i was blind) and then somehow i became so brave to tell him all of the things i was mad about and saying that i dont want anything with him anymore (he took 4 months just to ask "¿do you feel ready?" wth!) anyway the point is that The virgin Mary helped me then i felt the same thing calling me to Saint Benedict (he has a pray for exsorcism) and then my friend group split in half.

A month ago Saint Joseph called me and i ask him for something (i think he helps to find husband, work, etc).

Now i pray the rosary and i like it but when i do i start feeling anxious and guilty like..WTH?! and stuff like that Ngl thats weird but WITH GOD, EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE!!.