having to coddle people & other things

another rant even though it seems like im always bothered but i swear i only come here when im bothered

i feel like i can no longer coddle people that just constantly bring the whole mood down. its a big character flaw to not be able to handle anything and force people to walk on eggshells around you.  its so weird to me having to watch myself and baby whoever it is i have to be oh so soft around. yes, it is hard on the people that feel such big emotions but its nice to step into other peoples shoes.

its hard finding incompatibility within someone that you SHOULD like and its a part of the guilt i feel every day. and it DOES suck being told that someone has to walk on eggshells around you from something like mental issues or just personal struggles but some people just have to realize that their pain hurts other people as well. people have to actively push against what makes them selfish. having to conversate with someone like this is genuinely unfulfilling and feels like i shouldn't have bothered talking to them.

not necessarily a hate rant about just my mom but i GUESS i'll mention her.......anyway shes really bad at taking anything i say to heart. shes unable to take criticism and critique on her character seriously and it bugs me SOOO bad. thats all i gotta say cus this rant is hardly about her.

NOW im gonna talk about being filled with anxiety when having to meet up with these kinda people. whether its my mom, someone in school, etc. it makes me SOO SO anxious having to appease someone wherever i go and having to constantly entertain cus sometimes they are just...incapable of doing so...... i feel like im required to do more to make them happy and its so exhausting having to retain being someone im not. i enjoy the part of me that likes banter. i enjoy the part of me that jabs at people for fun. i enjoy the part of me that makes fun of people (as long as they do it back...all in good fun) and i dont think i wanna change that part of myself to conform to whatever someone percieves me as. i really like one of my laid back friends where we can say anything and we both just roll with it. NEVER A DULL MOMENT!!