That's life

A few of the friends I spoke about in a previous blog turned out to be HUGE narcissists. But that's just what happens when you get close to people fast, and so as much as it does hurt that E and N are both terrible people who thought they could manipulate me, it's still K and I.

More importantly, K - in the weeks I've known her - has been the most stable friend I have. She's essentially adopted me as her own child (especially after hearing all of what my parents have done to me) and we're thinking about trying to get that paperwork done so that I can be her legal child lmao. So while these "friends" are trying hard to manipulate and hurt me, she's kept me grounded and safe. She even stepped up on multiple occasions and told them to stop when things got too extreme. I've also been spending most of my time with her, especially since she's legally blind (or at least considered legally blind, she isn't FULLY blind just yet) and needs somebody to be with her so she doesn't get hurt.

Being homeless isn't fun, but it's freeing. I know if I had a home to go to, this friendship breakup would've destroyed me, even with K's help. But because the way that homelessness goes, especially in my city, I have to keep moving and not let it drag me down. The undertow won't pull me under this time, and I know that. It's not the same as how I thought it was, or how I remember it the previous times I was homeless. The first time, it was just me and my dog. The second time, I got help from a friend's uncle. Now, even if my friend's uncle is able to take me in, I'd rather be on the streets and sleeping in a drop-in shelter with K, because it's better this way.

As I've always said; homelessness isn't something I'd wish on my worst enemies. But it's something that teaches you things you'd likely never be able to learn with a stable environment. It allows you to keep pushing, even when you feel like you can't. It reveals just how strong you can really be. And this is from someone who has done it all now as a homeless person; I've been on the road and seen the whole of the US with my dog before he passed. I couch surfed for over a year. And now I'm raw dogging it, but at least I have someone to keep me afloat. Learning how strong you can be is important, especially when you think you aren't. There's so much strength hidden inside many never get to see for themselves.

Life isn't easy, and it never will be... but that trust fall is important. There may not be anyone there to catch you now, but eventually there will be. Even if it's just one person or ten.