I want to do something memorable // Vent?? I dunno

Im not going to put much thought into planning out what im gonna say, im just going to write what i feel because i really want to get this off my chest


For the past few years ive felt.. forgettable, i dont do anything thats mentionable. Im terrified of anything social and i physically cant do any sports, even if i wanted. the only thing that im really good at is art. 

But thats not very impressive is it? 

For exmaple, my best friend of 7 years is amazing at math, she has been her whole life (although recently her best grades have shifted to English instead of math, though she isnt by any means regressing in math. Shes STILL above average in all of her subjects) and thats how people knew her, people would always envy her and wish they were as intelligent as she was. Not to mention how beautiful she is, she has long shiny black hair and perfect skin.
My other friend of about 4 years is amazing at writing, shes has constantly been praised by teachers as long as i knew her. even before we were friends i would sit near the teachers table after everyone handed in their writing books and wait for her to get called over by the teacher like she always did... when everyone else was spending their free time talking, playing etc. I sat with my friends, pretending to listen and i would just easedrop on how the teacher praised her instead.
And all i have.. is art. Sure, ive been "spectacular" and "talented" from a young age just like they were. People of all ages would admire and praise me for being "So good at such a young age" but the older i get the less impressive it feels. i dont care if im far better then everyone in my class, i dont care if i have been for nine years, its not good enough. nothing is ever good enough.

So before i die. id like to do something that sets myself apart from them, something that sets me apart from everyone in my hellhole of a school. I want to make something memorable. I want to be noticed just like they are, I hope that one day people will see and incredible piece of art i did or a complex and unique story i made... Is that selfish? I hope not, i just want to make a impact on this world. even if just for a few people


I guess thats my final point. I want to make an impact with my art or writing one day
Thank you for reading.