confused

I dont really understand the world, or how it works. I feel like i do, i like to tell myself i do but then ill sit in silence and itll all come to me.  All those regrets and guilt like swallows me whole.. anyways!

Ive had a decent week, I mean i wasnt sober for half of it but good none the less.. I just have been stuck thinking and playing video games. I love escaping into these digital worlds. 

I always wonder if they still think about me? Maybe they dont, a part of me hopes they do. 

My birthday is in 2 weeks and im semi excited. Ill buy a lot of things, my mic and my mouse is what im most excited for! I cant wait to start creating music. Ive been admiring and idolizing these music nerds for so long. Anyways thats my small update I guess i know its boring but writing is cool. 

OK BYE.  -veil