Blog Entry 1: Leaving for uni in 4 months

Holy shit.

So I got my IB results a while back, and I was kinda devastated because I got a 26. I genuinely thought there was no hope.

But somehow, I got into one of the leading universities in the Czech Republic. WITH A 26. 

It feels strange knowing I’m about to leave a version of my life behind and step into something I’ve only imagined so far. Uni has always kinda felt like a... distant checkpoint? Something I'd just get to "eventually." Now, it's become so real. Closer than ever!

I feel... weird. A lot of different emotions, for once. I'm definitely excited, oh, and there's definitely some fear about moving 5,400 miles away from home. There's some worry mixed in too, about how I'm gonna survive being on my own for the first time in 19 years, how I'm gonna learn the language (I speak only English, and I understand French, so I'm kinda screwed.) It's strange, but kind of cool too.

I guess another one of my bigger uncertainties is not knowing who I'll be once I get there.

I'm kind of stuck in limbo, at the moment. I'm not quite where I was, and I'm not quite there yet. I'm hurtling through my life with no way to pause or reverse it. It's supposed to be normal, right? I keep telling myself that. But tbh it doesn't make the feeling any less strange.

It's all happening so fast. There’s also this pressure I can’t fully ignore? From my teachers, my parents, my friends, that I should have everything figured out already. I try to look like I do, but damn, sometimes I'm really struggling. I have no idea what I'm doing haha. I'm still learning how to do all this shit.

To be honest, I'm also... curious. Who I'll meet, the ideologies I'll be exposed to, the things I'll learn and do, and new things to discover both academically and personally. I think the curiosity helps me feel a little less overwhelmed about myself.

Anyways, I think the best thing for me to do is to carry on. Carry on with my retakes (which I'll probably post about,) carry on with my applications, and try to figure this out. This is a big milestone, after all!

- A