How do you get laid

This is kind of a rhetorical question because for me right now the answer is you don't.

I live in a small ass town with a population of ~2000 and majority of them are senile old people. So like there's probably like a total of like 100 guys in my age range? subtract that by how many guys worth considering you get exactly 0. Plus, y'all probably know the general consensus among small town folk is that weird/queer people are. uh. weird and queer. I am cishet which is weird to say after changing my gender and sexuality so many times over the course of my teenagehood and that will probably change eventually, and I am probably genderfluid but I am too employed to give a fuck right now, but you get the gist. My friend group consists of every single gay person in town basically. The hangout spot at lunch is the GSA clubroom (standing for Gender Spectrum Awareness) of which the pride flag has been vandalized so many times it is no longer up anymore and when the room had closed to try and fix it the first time a rumour got spread not 2, but 3 kids participated in R rated activities in there at once and that's why it closed. Even without being a dirty, dirty homosexual I am still alternative. My hair rn is blonde with black face framing bits and raccoon tails. I love fashion and refuse to leave the house without a cool ass fit (I mainly take inspo from gyaru and mcbling fashion for ref) so obviously not a single straight man would ever approach my ass. There is obviously something biologically with the guys they're breeding here because the school had to implement a rule where the boys, and only the boys, have to sign out on a piece of paper with the time they left and the time they came back whenever they go to the bathroom because the boys bathroom is uninhabitable. Someone actually, unironically, I am not making this shit up (pun intended), shat. in. the. sink. 

I briefly considered this one guy because like every hot and amazing alt girl who likes men, I have a thing for cute lil nerdy guys. He was in my chem 12 class so omg he must be smart right? He even did DND. I don't even like DND much like it would be fun if you were legit larping I think or doing a different kind of rpg but like it was highkey boring when I went and there were no other cute boys so I gave up on it. Anways, even though he's funny and silly and cute this man is fucking ambitionless. His future plans directly conflict with mine. His dream life is living in a cabin in the woods with a dog and mine is living in a highrise apartment in a city with a cat like were direct opposites. And high offense to the blue collar men out there but I am NOT into that and dude was studying to go into, like, I don't even remember, some kind of blue collar trade. That's why he was taking chemistry. And also like, just barely not failing chemistry. When I was stressing over taking chem 12 because the initial plan was to retake chem 11 for the 3rd time even though I passed the first time she turned to him and asked him if he had his permission to tell me the grade he got last year in chem 11. It was 53%. A failing grade is 50%. It didn't make me feel better. So he's not even a nerd he's just someone who happens to be in the same room as me who wears glasses.

Am I not hot and sexy and perfect and smart and amazing??? God it is just so hard being so. good. at everything. These boys are just. Obviously intimidated. I mean. Cmon.