My Great Grandma is a Professional Ragebaiter

So me and my dad were kinda forced to move in with my Great Grandma (who I call my nana) and like. holy fuck. how did she get this far in life??? Even when I a kid, bro, like at first I loved her and was always excited to go see her but she just betrayed my trust over and over and I stopped liking her. I don't even know where to start right now.

She's a kleptomaniac and a hoarder. The house is filled with shit older than me that hasn't moved in years and she won't get rid of any of it. It's a 5 bedroom house but only 3 rooms are actually use-able because the other ones are stacked to the roof with absolutely useless shit. It apparently used to be much worse and she had to have some interventions. She gave me and my dad rooms when we first moved in but she never moved her own shit out of it. My room is tiny and I only can use a small portion of it cuz the rest isn't mine. every wall has something in front of it. A giant dresser literally filled with old rags with pictures of people I don't know on top of it too, and a giant ass shelf with creepy dolls and a bunch of raspberry(?) jam jars. There's also a giant bookshelf behind my bed filled with ancient ass books with info in them that are completely void now. Like medical journals from the 1910s and "Computing for Elders 101" from 2008. There's also a big ass stuffy of Elmo for no reason. She excitedly told me that she had emptied the closet and drawers of the vanity for me to use when I first moved in and like... Yeah I'd fucking hope so??? I need to put my clothes somewhere??? The closet isn't even emptied, it's still full of other people's shit, she just emptied out the middle section so it's somewhat useable. Most annoyingly this means I can't have a desk in my room and I can't do homework anywhere at home. Which is especially bad because her house is in the middle of buttfuck nowhere and the nearest gas station is a 30 minute walk so if I want to do homework and actually be able to focus on it and get anything done I have to let someone know 3 business days in advance that I'll be going to the only cafe in town to do homework and they'll need to pick me up since I only have my learner's license right now.

Remember when I said she was a kleptomaniac? Yeah. Well over the stuff she hoards isn't even hers. That's partly why you can't even clean it out because it's not hers. You can't just throw out other people's stuff. It's not that people forget them it's that she steals them from them and hides it. Every day I come home from school and she's gone through my room and changed shit around, hanging jeans up in the closet and zipping all my jackets up (WHY???). I thank god every day that she doesn't go through the boxes I can't unpack that have my (medically prescribed) dilator kit in them. She's stolen plenty of my clothes which is super fucking annoying cuz I only brought the clothes I use frequently and the rest are in a storage locker 4 hours away. She stole one dress and I know she stole it because I only had it in my closet for the longest time and didn't wear it because it's a very summer dress and it was winter, but it was getting warmer and I wanted to wear it and... poof. gone. I looked everywhere. The closet, my dressers, under my bed, behind my bed, in the laundry room, my nana's room, one of the hoarding rooms, it was no where to be found. I don't know where the fuck she keeps any of this shit. But I asked her about it eventually, asked if she'd seen it anywhere and she jokingly asked if I was accusing her of taking it and added that "what do you think, I'm wearing it? haha" since she very obviously would not have been able to fit in it nor is it her style. Truly? I don't know why the fuck she does this. Why did she take it? To fuck with me? Probably. But she faked looking for it with me before saying "It'll show up eventually" and it did. In my closet 2 days later where not just me, but my dad and my granny and her had looked. Recently she stole my tights too so now I just can't wear half my fucking wardrobe since 90% of my clothes are skirts and dresses and its too cold to go bare under them. She still hasn't returned them. I cried the morning I found them gone, and was late to school because of it (thankfully it got excused because the front office lady saw how visibly distraught I looked when I signed in. She thought I was sad, I was actually PISSED off). She also stole and hid my USB stick. it had a capacity of 180gb and was brand new and had the sims 3 with all packs, store content, and a fuck ton of mods installed. I had to use it since my laptop only has 237gb and I am an avid sims player and have all 4 games and also Sims Medieval but I can't have both sims 3 and 4 on my computer at once so I would swap them out on the USB. It's gone now. I recently had to reinstall sims 3 after buying a new external SSD. I have never found it. She has no idea what a USB stick is. There are so many things that could be irreplaceably important on a USB so that's like actually terrifying. She does this to everyone too, my dad has told me stories where before he had to leave to work she stole his toolkit with all the stuff he needed for his chainsaw before he went to work as a tree faller. Evidently, he was pissed off.

Speaking of my dad she is convinced he can never be good at anything. She doesn't let him cook (he is a fantastic cook) doesn't let him clean (but if we don't clean she tells other people were lazy and need to learn how to do things??), wont let him fix the absolutely revolting bathroom either (the backing is WOOD, the tiles are falling off, the shower makes a high pitched noise akin to a bomb detonator when you turn it on, and the tub occasionally has a disgusting slimy film in it. Not to mention its green. Who in their right mind wants a green tub!?). Notably was one time there was a tree that needed to be fallen in the backyard. My dad offered to do it for free since he owned and ran a tree falling company and was an expert in the field. He was the guy who gave out tree falling licenses. She refused and instead hired some other guy to do it instead. Dawg.

All she does all day is care for the house and her garden. That's all she does. So sure, I guess she's bored and that's why she does this kind of bullshit. But she isn't even good at it. She is a horrible gardener. She built her house on a property with known ungrowable soil and how she even managed to grow one thing is appalling but the front garden is practically useless. All that grows there is blackberries, sometimes. But she keeps planting trees and once in a blue moon maybe a single pear will sprout so then she plants 80 more fucking pear trees that do nothing but take the nutrients from the blackberries. Recently she planted these little seedings in a small planter box, a mix of things, I don't really care what's in there I don't garden and I don't really like gardening. But she left these seedlings in the one spot in the house furthest away from the sun. In the basement, furthest away from all the windows under a fluorescent light. On a desk too (There is only 3 desks in the house, one is in a corner buried behind a bunch of bullshit she's hoarding, the other is in the empty room in the basement which I will get to later, and the other is downstairs by the door outside, this is the only desk I could possibly be able to do homework on and whenever I leave it alone for 3 seconds she's filled it with more shit like these seedlings that do not belong there). One day she said to my dad that it was weird that they were sprouting so long and so pale. They were malnourished. They were looking for the sun. My dad suggested she put them in the sun. She very evidently didn't want to admit he could ever be right and was like "hmmmm yeah last time I did that and put them by the window they did kinda good but I don't think that's related, actually." She never out them by the sun so the next day my dad did, he brought them out and put on the picnic table outside where the sun would beam down on them all day long. Over the weekend my dad mentioned how good the seedlings were doing now that they were out in the sun and she agreed and then later when he turned his back on them she had hidden them. 2 days later he found them inside. Under. a. blanket. It has been a tug of war with these seedlings since and the seedlings are doing horribly. A guest came over too, unannounced by the way, she kind of just abruptly told my dad someone was coming over. As in, they were actively on there way coming over. No time for any of us to prepare. Anyway the guest mentioned that it was spring and asked my nana had gotten to planting anything and she was like "yyyeaaah I planted these seedlings but I don't know whats wrong with them" Oh for fucks sake.

Remember when I mentioned the empty room downstairs? Yeah now I'm getting to that. Of course, my nana is 89 years old and can't live on her own and before me and my dad had shown up my aunt had lived here but she was about to move a province over. When we got there she was on vacation in Thailand for a month so her stuff was in her room downstairs for a while before she moved out. Now the room is empty and my aunt said over and over that I should take the room downstairs since it's the only room actually empty and not filled with my nana's shit, the only stuff left in there is a desk and a drawer. It's also girly and cute, but before she even moved out my nana was dead set on my dad, who does not care about his surroundings should get the room. Of course, he would love a desk, too, but we both kinda need it equally and he doesn't care and thought I should have it instead since I have decorations and shit I would like to use. I did move my sewing stuff down there since there's no where else I can put it at all and I would like to sew especially because I am not good at sewing and living with my great grandma and a 15 minute drive my my grandma (who's actually sociable) is an amazing opportunity to finally get the hang of something I've been wanting to learn how to do for years (I have been sewing the whole time, just predominantly stuffed animals) Then, my granny gave me the offer of a lifetime. My own trailer. I'm 17 and next year I'll be off to post secondary school and having a place of my own I can just move to a town that actually has a university and only having to pay for electricity and the land in a trailer park instead of rent for an apartment in Canada is an absolute lifesaver so I kinda gave up on the room and figured my dad could have it, but my sewing stuff is still in there. Obviously. There's also a large clearing on my nana's property and my great uncles old shed which has a major power supply running into it, so theres a place for it to go and my granny got permission to connect to his power supply. Then later, my granny and grandpa came over with a bed to put into the spare bedroom downstairs and while they were doing that my nana waddled over to me and YELLED at me that I AM NOT GETTING THAT ROOM and stormed off angrily. I am bewildered and shocked and confused and I went and hid in my room for a bit. While in my room I could hear her talking to my granny and saying that I don't do anything but sit on the internet until after midnight and I don't do anything. Also that she told me a million times not to eat in the room(?) but it goes through one ear and out the other (she had literally never told me that). Then my granny mentioned that she was going to bring her trailer up and plug it into my great uncles power supply and my nana is like well who is staying in there and then when my granny said me she blew up again and said I don't deserve something like that because again, I need to learn how to do things. (I do literally everything I'm told to do and if I were to try and do something without prompting I would also get in trouble so wtaf am I meant to do???) She also said that the reasons he needs my dad to have the room downstairs is because she needs to move into his current room. She is sick of sleeping on the couch. Why is she sleeping on the couch? Because she, herself, hoarded so hard that her bedroom is unusable. There is shit piled on her bed. It looks like a fucking post office in there. I cannot stress enough that that is her own doing.

Later I was told my nana was in a horrible mood all weekend because I went to hang out with my granny over the weekend, which I do every weekend, but apparently that weekend I was meant to know that she wanted me to tend the lawn with her. Literally know one knew that. What does tend the lawn entail? Raking. Raking not just the lawn but the fucking bushes. The bushes. We don't need to rake the fucking dirt off the ground in the fucking bushes. But for the past 2 weeks we've been raking. the fucking. bushes. There is a fire out front that we through the raked leaves in and she cannot comprehend that if you dump the "leaves" (mulch) directly onto the fire the fire will go out. She has been doing this for 60 years and still cannot understand that. I brought a load of mulch to the fire and put it next to the fire so the fire creeps over and lights it instead of it just going out and then she grabbed her rake and started pulling it on top of the fire and I told her not to do that and then she whined to my dad later when I was in earshot that I was giving her shit for putting the "leaves" directly onto the fire because she is afraid that while it is burning the wind (it was not windy) will blow the leaves away when it catches on fire and it will blow away. Again, the pile was more sticks, acorns, and mulch than it was leaves since the trees in the bushes are all fir trees.

Additionally she also just rude and weird. Recently she came up to me and told me my toenails looked nice and then asked if I cut them myself. What. She asked me if it was costume day at school because I wore baggy clothes and my baseball cap backwards because I was feeling too lazy that day to fight with my wardrobe. She makes a comment on the portion size I took during dinner every night. Also during dinner she always eats with her mouth full of food. She never shuts the fuck up during dinner. I cannot look at her during dinner or else I lose my appetite but I still hear the food in her mouth while she speaks. I once watched her talk and then finish swallowing her food. Pause. Take another bite. And only then did she continue talking. One day I came home from school 15 minutes after school ended and she asked where I'd been all day.

I would like to point out that reportedly she has ALWAYS been like this. I was keen to believe that perhaps she is so old her brain is decaying. perhaps she has dementia. Perhaps she is just senile. But no. She has been like this since forever. Of course her fine motor skills are now shittier but oh my god how did she make it this fucking far in life. I know there are much worse home situations I can be in but I am genuinely losing my mind. I am waiting for the trailer to be brought up desperately but I fear she will be pissed the fuck off if I actually go in there often. Especially if I lock it when I leave for school and she can't go through my things.