It sounds like you’re talking who has been at the center nore.

It sounds like this has been a long-standing pattern, and three years is a significant amount of time to deal with a consistent behavior. When something persists for that long, it usually means it has become a deeply ingrained habit or a set dynamic in the relationship.

To give you the most helpful perspective, could you tell me a bit more about what "this" is and how it’s affecting you?