if a body catch a body

hello again internet!

i sound corny saying that but i think everything i say sounds corny. anyways, hi.

yesterday, i finished the catcher in the rye by j.d. salinger. i suppose i don't have a solid opinion on it. some people say it's a horrid book, while some say it's the best thing to have happened in literature. honestly, it's rotten work for me to truly find where i stand... but i do know i loved it in some way. i was hooked. i finshed it all in two days. i've never finished a book in 2 days. i believe it gives me perspective in life, i can't really explain it. 

in all honesty, i think holden caufield is a lost teenager. which he truly is. he's been through a lot, and i wouldn't say he's a brat (i'm saying this because apparently some people think he is). that poor boy's intelligent emotionally, but he still acts immaturely in some parts. i think he's afraid of growing up. he doesn't like to admit that he doesn't let go of some things. i believe he hates to admit that he's hurt... well, he does tell the reader when he's hurt or when something depresses him but i believe he downplays the intensity of his pain. i think we can all find a little bit of ourselves in that scared 16 year old.

to add to the book, it somehow reminds me of elliott smith. i can't quite put my finger on it but it truly does give off elliott smith. i love elliott smith, i think he's a great artist. i listen to him on early mornings and late nights. 

other than reading, i've been busy with studying (wow, such a good student) and unfortunately giggling over internet strangers. i've met some new people online, and most of them are people i kinda look up to. it's shocking, really. i don't know how i've made friends, let alone people who i think are cool. i don't think i'm cool to be honest. i think the things i enjoy are cool but i just don't see it in me. 

im not exactly anti-social. i just dislike going around and interacting with every human being. when i say i'm an introvert, people either say "oh, yes, i'm horribly aware of that" or "but you're loud!!!". i can be a bit of a loud person around my friends, but i don't think that makes me any less of an intovert. people assume all introverts have crippling anxiety, and i won't say i'm not anxious around others but i will say i have my moments where i can be social if i have to. i don't necessarily hate people, i could never. speaking of people, i've made peace with them. saying that makes me sound like an alien but what i mean is i'm not easily irratable around others anymore. i think we all need a little patience around others. we should all be kind to everyone even when they aren't kind to us. it makes me sound like some old ted talk person but i really think there's good in every human being. we never know what happens to others. we don't know what goes on when they get home, or if they even feel at home. we don't always know what happens the night before we see them again at work, or at school, or in the mall. we don't know the depth of what the feel. we don't know how much they crave for a taste of kindess from someone. we never truly know if they're having a good day or not. i think we should be kinder to others, because in doing that we are also kinder to ourselves. 

sorry for sounding like some mediocre philosopher but i just felt like letting that out. it's corny. horribly.

to add to what i said about me studying, it's mostly doing group work for this play we need to do to finish the school year. in my country, almost everyone's on school break-- and unfortunately our beautiful stem focused school isn't. it sucks walking around in a uniform after class while others are in casual clothes doing the things they want to do. but it's fine, i won't stay bitter about it. it's only one and a half of a month left. today our first period was history. and if you know me personally i adore history and english. mostly history because it tackles so many topics, and usually my interests are brought up (literature, random stuff i know too much about, and films). my history professor is my favorite. i've never met another prof who is as good as him. he's good at teaching and he loves films and jets and whatnot. he reminds me of mr. keating from dead poets society, or mr. anderson from perks of being a wallflower. though i haven't finished tpobaw... my friend has. but still, he truly is an outstanding teacher. i always look forward to tuesdays and thursdays during the week because those are the days he teaches; i think one of the only reasons i even go to school is because of his class. anyways, he also makes us watch films. the first film we watched was life of pi. i had already watched it when i was younger but watching it again was a whole new experience. it is truly a magnificent film and i cannot get over it.

i fear that's all i have to say. oh and i've made a list of books i want to read now. i'm going to drop them here!! 

[ ] last evenings on earth by roberto bolaño

[ ] either/or by søren kierkegaard

[ ] sickness unto death by søren kierkengaard

[ ] someday this pain will be useful to you by peter cameron

[ ] the goldfinch by donna tart

[ ] the picture of dorian gray by oscar wilde

[ ] franz kafka's diary

[ ] franz kafka's work in general perhaps

[ ] sylvia plath's diary

[ ] slyvia plath works 

[ ] any poetry book that gives off jeff buckley/elliott smith vibes perchance

[ ] classic literature 

[ ] more shakespeare play scripts/sonnet collection .. perhaps

that's it for today. special thanks to the comment i got on my last blog, my week feels content. 

i hope you're doing well, whoever you are. i hope the world is kinder to you. 

wishing you the world,

r.