diary entry #?

too lazy to pick up my notebook and a pen so i'm gonna write here instead. i moved back home recently. i don't know if i am happy or not. i enjoy life. i want to experience things and i want to learn about things and i love being alive! but i live a meaningless life i think. i don't even know what that means since i do find meaning in things but it feels like something that describes the state that i'm in. i never accomplish anything, not even small things, and while i do enjoy just existing, the constant craving to PROGRESS is overwhelming. yet i never do anything about it. i don't have motivation or direction or patience. i don't know if it's still depression (was it ever actually?) or if i just haven't figured out how to live a meaningful life yet. i've never met anyone who lives life like i do. of course i am not as unique as i think i am, but regarding this i feel totally alone. i am the most lazy and also the most stressed person i know. i avoid discomfort to the extreme yet i am never comfortable. i'm getting older and nothing ever sorts itself out.