IM BACK TWINKS

alr so you know me already im Samuel your neighborhood twink and today i bring an update... and probably some yap that i didnt finish from last time.

okay so first thing is first, that rant we had about pe last time, i ended up not skipping but o my days it got fucking worse!! I was expecting this but i obviously got put on the girls team which i find stupid cause the rest of the guys are doing the same exact thing in pe as the girls. They also felt SO SO proud to announce that this will be the groups were in for the rest of the year so now im guessing im suck with this bullshit till im in year 11 or something. I really dont see why they separate us and honestly i might crash out if i dont get them to change it.

Anyway thats all for the rant from last time, so onto the past couple days cause i havent been able to update yall (my laptop is at my mothers house and only it has a vpn). Uhh Monday: had maths first so that sucked, my teacher is nice though so it wasnt that shit, after school i hung out with my boyfriend and went to his house so that was fun. Tuesday: pe and shit i really hate Tuesdays, i wanted to kms bro get me out of here please, we went to my bf's house again lol so that made me feel better :) Wednesday (today): had some shit lessons like maths, chemistry but i also had music thats that was okay, it was a bit boring tho cuz theory is BORIIIINGGG. You wouldnt be able to guess but i went to his house again lol, it was fun.

I asked my dad for a gun for my birthday (bb ofc) and he said yes!! 

Image attached underneath is hopefully what im getting :)

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ok now for some not so fun moments and major tw cause this is kinda a vent (ill try to keep it short and sweet for yall)

ok so on tueseday i felt really shitty cause of pe, my family, and just generally shit mental health which idrk what to blame for but probably myself. Usually i see things at night so i blame the hallucinations bro.. anyway i felt so so shit like i havent in weeks and i relapsed pretty bad, i mean at least its already healing good so it doesnt look that bad but genuenly i was struggling not to get blood everywhere in my room.. this is so tmi but wtv. i stayed up till like 3 am just trynna get my arms to stop bleeding and finally it did so thats that. Also i did get to a point that night where i did attempt sadly and tried to hang myself, fortunately it didnt work but im not so sure what wouldve happened if it did...

(i know this is very personal and a lot to put out to the internet and shit but i dont care you probably dont know me irl i use blogs as a lil journal so if i did do something (anything) they yall getting updated)

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yeah so thats that, also im getting a ushanka soon yayy!!! im not sure when but im very happy my bf is getting me one :)

uhh idrk what else oto update about, ive been struggling with eating recently tho so yeah, currently i have 2 homeworks due for tomorrow but i cba to do them and also idek what it is cause my phone is taken away, oh well i will figure something out later. Idk if ive mentioned before but i got this new game on steam its called 'ultrakill' and holy shit i havent ever played a game this good, i is kinda annoying when i keep fucking dying on the same level but hey who doesnt love some motivation?? im prolly gonna post this and either go off to play for a bit or  something yuh. Oh also before i forget to tell you i made my bf some gifts and got him a bass cause (he mentioned that like once or twice lol) and aww he was so happy i love seeing him like this. 

i just love my boyfriend SO SO SO MUCHHH raah ^w^