I am scared

I’ve been in a long-distance relationship for 7 months, and until recently, we could talk all the time. I had school, sure, but we still had time for each other. We would scroll reels together, watch movies and shows, talk for hours. I loved spending time with her so much that I slowly stopped enjoying doing things without her.

But life was always going to get in the way eventually.

She’s moving in with me in 3 months, and she wants to work at a tattoo studio because she genuinely loves it. To prepare for that, she recently started working as an assistant at a tattoo studio where she currently lives.

I knew this was coming at some point… but it happened all at once.

Now she has to go every single day, and it’s been affecting me more than I expected. Yesterday was one of her first days, and I couldn’t do anything all day. I just stayed at home, feeling off. She even got home late, and we only managed to talk around 11 PM, and even then we were both too tired and went straight to sleep.

Right now, it’s still somewhat manageable because we can talk at least a little. But in 11 days, I’m going to visit her for about 10 days. And after that, I won’t be able to visit her again until she moves here.

We’re planning to move out together, which means I need to save money for the deposit and furniture. So I’ll have to get a job too. I already have school, friends, a music band, and a portfolio I need to prepare because I’m planning to start university next year.

Which means… we’re barely going to talk.

And we’re already starting to feel the tension. Our communication is getting worse. I brought this up to her because I had to — it’s been eating me up inside.

I can’t smile the same way anymore. I don’t feel excited about things.
She tries to comfort me, saying things like “we’ll get used to it” or “this will pass,” but even though I know she means well… it doesn’t help.

I hate change.

I hate how life forces its way between me and the people I love.
Why does everything have to be this complicated?

It feels like I finally found the right person…
but now we won’t even be able to talk like we used to.